Like taking candy from a baby

I would like to meet the person who said this, or even better meet the baby that gave the candy up.

Saturday was Broomfield Days in our fair town and that meant a parade. When your husband is running for office, guess what? You get to march. The parade entries varied from groups of walkers to the shiny antique cars to the floats with so much detail that I wanted to write down names so I could have them build me one next year. There were alpacas (FYI, do NOT call them Lamas), there were horses, but no one, no one except our family had the courage to pull a 19-month-old in a wagon.

Yes, our family entry consisted of my husband’s gigantic sign, some supporters, lots of candy and one baby who refused to let me throw any of it to the cheering kids along the sidelines. Do you know what happens when you have candy, cheering kids who want candy, and you don’t throw said candy? The cheering stops. Their once joyful faces seemed stunned momentarily as they stare at you trying to wrestle candy from a 19-month-old to throw to them. What kind of person enters a parade, brings candy to throw, then doesn’t share?

Now, we were the last entry in the parade, which meant we waited at a complete standstill for about an hour for the parade to begin. Armed with nothing but my Du Wop Lip Venom (which really does burn when you apply) and large bags of candy, I chose the candy to keep N occupied. I thought that feeding her a breakfast that would make Britney proud would let her give it up when the parade actually started.

Oh, I was wrong. So wrong.

Every time I reached in the bag that was riding with N in the wagon she screamed, “NO!” She slapped my hand, she grabbed. She shoved more candy in her mouth in protest.

So, for the few kids who actually got some of the candy. I am sorry that your mom made you throw it away because it was already opened. You can thank my baby for that.

And if this turns up on youtube I think I might cry.