Krista's World

OK, I hate it when people do what I just did

2009-03-21T18:20:00.003-06:00

Disappear for months at a time. MONTHS! I tell you.

Truly, so very sorry about it. The truth is things got very dark in Krista's world. 2009 did not ring in as I had hoped. Or even dared to imagine.

For the first 21 days of 2009 my daily goals where:

Not to cry when someone asked me how I was-especially the King Soopers Check-Out lady.
Not to throw up when I thought about my life.

And there you have it friends.

Krista may be down, but she is not out. And things have become significantly better since January 1.

More to come. I promise.

Krista is Back in School

2008-12-30T08:09:00.003-07:00

Oh somebody please hold me.

The last full semester that I took in graduate school ended with the prof sending me home early. I was a 37 weeks pregnant and having contractions-but nothing regular, I assured him. I couldn't even sit in a desk like everyone else. They had to make a special chair and table arrangement for me where I sat a good two feet from the table's edge thanks to my absurdly huge belly.
Anyway, as the lecture drew on, my prof kept looking at me with an uneasy gaze. Being a dad himself, he knew labor was nothing to mess around with so mid-lecture, he stopped, came over to me and made me a deal. He would give me credit for this lecture and the next if I would promise to go straight home now and not come back.
I wish I could express the sheer panic in his face. I was not panicked. It was a counseling psychology class, you could not put together a group of more empathetic people. Some were moms, some were not, but all were so kind to me in those last few weeks.
So I got up and left and said goodbye to everyone and by the next class I was emailing them all with the picture of my bouncing baby girl.

Fast forward 4 years- How DOES that happen? And I am ending my maternity break from school and going back. I am excited to be back, although I had to modify my program to get it all done.
In this economy, a half of a graduate degree is fairly useless so I need to finish it. I also have a potential copy writing project that will give me just enough work to help us out. And DH has a good interview tomorrow.

So things are looking up.

Show and Tell

2008-12-27T15:24:00.002-07:00

So here we are, Christmas has passed in a haze of wrapping paper, hugs and squealing. My girls have just stopped twitching from the sugar buzz and I had to stage an intervention with a certain 2 year-old and a headless chocolate Santa.

I could say it was the best Christmas ever, that we are all so blessed, the billions of platitudes that I can create off the top of my head but I won't. Times were tight this year. DH is yet again looking for more work thanks to the sucktastic economy. To help ease the financial strain I am looking for work. Life feels like we are balancing on a precipice. A precipice that felt solid and grounded just months ago now feels scary and unsure. And we know we have to take the jump soon, and we pray the right situation arises so we can all jump to solid ground.

And I know that this is life. Filled with good years and bad, sadness and joy, life and death. Sometimes I get so caught up in my own particular brand of sorrow that I lose sight of all that is around me. The friends and family. My health and that of my family's and friends. Our warm beautiful home and food on the table. I know these things are here, but sometimes the darkness falls and shuts it all out, making me blind to them, leaving me feeling despair, hopelessness, shame.
I think everyone else's family is perfect, that mine is the only one suffering. Crazy, right?

So that explains my absence. Krista got a little sad and a lot stressed.

Now before I leave I have to share this last bit of humiliation on my part.
I was getting ready last week, brushing my teeth in my tank top jammies when E exclaimed, "Mama! What happened to the hair under your arms?"
Embarrassed, and a little surprised that she noticed I took a few days break from the Bic, I replied, "Mama shaved, it's all gone."

To that she replied with some urgency, "It's a preschool day, right?"

"Yessssss."

"Great, I have BIG news for my class"

Great. My hygiene habits are now an official part of show and tell.

Although, how mad can I truly get? I blog about just about everything.

I guess it was just a matter of time for me to realize that E over shares, just like her mama.

What I'm up to

2008-12-23T13:52:00.002-07:00

Preschool has been on winter break (why? Whyyyyyyyy?!) so I have had about five minutes to myself in the past 5 days. I have spent these five minutes eating cookies and hiding in the bathroom. Every other minute is spent keeping my girls from destroying themselves, each other, the dogs and our house.
It makes my brain hurt.

Due to this situation, I have not wrapped a single present. Not a single one! In fact, I need to finish some shopping tonight.

So busy, so crabby, so trying not to be

2008-12-18T16:58:00.002-07:00

Sorry for the MIA. I feel like there is so much going on in my life that the air literally whirs around me as I try and get it all done.
And this is with simplifying.

I have to admit that it breaks my heart that I get so stressed this time of year. I have always loved Christmas growing up, and as an adult. As a new mom, I beamed as I watched E point to the lights on the tree and babble. I love the sparkly snow- the Christmas specials, the cookies...
What I don't love is the fear that I am forgetting something, that I am perpetually behind on gift buying, wrapping, finding.

I am saddened that our job situation isn't stellar, that DH's business is too slow, that he has to work twice as hard to drum up business in an economy when it feels like all the doors are closed. I am sad that I feel guilty that I stay at home with our girls, then I feel guilty for not putting our girls in daycare and getting a job myself to help with the situation. And then I go back to our Christmas list, trying to figure out how to make it all work. Or at this point, some of it to work. Guilty, guilty, guilty all in the name of my girls who are oblivious to this stuff. The same little girls who enjoy the simple things- The thrill of opening an Advent Calendar Window. Twice! They will knock each other to the floor just to be the first to see baby Jesus.

There are the bright lights. Making treats with my girls, helping them put together and give gifts to their preschool teachers, opening the treasures that my girls make me on a daily basis. One of my most prized gifts so far is a simple envelope where E wrote I love You Mom in her winding preschool penmanship.
We've made scented bath salts and hot cocoa mix and giggled as the powder billowed up every time we stirred. E learned how to tie a knot in ribbon and N can say Merry Christmas clear as a bell.
We've been playing with our Nativity set- saving baby Jesus from much peril from the pointer-and singing our favorite songs in the car.

Tomorrow marks the last day of preschool for Christmas break and I am hoping I can let myself off the hook a little and enjoy these precious times with my girls who are positively giddy with the promise of Christmas.

They have presents to open on Christmas day, but the gifts, the true gifts of love, faith, sisterhood, and happy memories they have piles of.

Favorite Movies

2008-12-15T19:43:00.002-07:00

Our Wi-Fi has gone all wonky so forgive me if this post doesn't finish. I am fervently typing hoping to get it all in before it kicks off....

Today was sunny and freezing...one of my favorite combinations (in moderation, of course!). I've been spending my nights watching my favorite Christmas-y movies during the precious two hours I have after they go to bed and before my bedtime. I love these movies, some for comic relief, some for the message and some for the sheer habit of watching. Sometimes I watch while knitting, cleaning or typing. On nights like tonight, I am watching while enjoying a few Christmas cookies that I made with my mom, niece and daughters. On a side note, it was not cookie-making in the Christmas special fashion-E inhaled some peanut dust, had an allergic reaction, and later threw it all up. Twice. Merry Christmas!

I am still doing my "counting my blessings" exercise with the Christmas lights and I must say that I feel the stress and panic subsiding. I have also been keeping up the exercise and have lost a pound this past week. My only goal until January is not to gain so I am very happy with that.

So far, so good!

I am going to end this with a list of a few of my favorite movies in case you are looking for something fun. What's yours?

Love Actually

It's a Wonderful Life-this really puts money and our economy into perspective

National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation

Just Friends-I can't believe I admit to this one...

A Christmas Carol- almost all versions including Scrooged

There must be a support group for this

2008-12-11T13:00:00.002-07:00

So I go and follow my own advice and go out to see a movie with a friend, in an actual movie theater with candy and everything. And what do I do?

I fall in love with a teenage vampire WHO IS NOT EVEN REAL.

That's right friends, I saw Twilight and before I could polish off the Twizzlers, I became completely smitten with Edward. I had to caps the not real part because in my world that is a necessary distinction. I am that girl who asks the realtor immediately if there are any ghosts or if any one has ever died (bad) or been murdered (worse) in a home before I will even glance at the MLS. This humiliates DH to no end and now I have to add my teenage vampire crush to his list of things he must endure in being married to me. So just to be clear, I am not necessarily a fan of the actor at all, I am infatuated with a pretend character, a vampire one at that.

That being said, if you haven't read the Twilight series books, I highly recommend them. I just finished them last night and am truly sad the saga is over. If you are looking for an entertaining escape, go see the movie after you read the first book. It is truly enchanting and you won't be sorry.

Just don't go and fall in love with Edward, OK?

Lily is terrified of the ceiling fan AKA Coping with Anxiety

2008-12-10T15:19:00.004-07:00

Lily is absolutely heart-poppingly terrified of the ceiling fan in our master bedroom. This phobia is specific to this particular fan and it is all my fault. While she was snuggled in my bed I had the audacity to turn it off while the lights were still on (oh the horror!).
She was used to seeing it move fast, she's gazed at it moving slow, the rhythmic and predicable movement was never bothersome to her. Until the day she looked up and saw it slowing down, no rhythm, no pattern, just the shadows and the blades whirring to a halt.

And she freaked.

If you can imagine a chihuahua on steroids holding a megaphone while yelping, you can imagine the sound that is still soldered into my eardrums. And the sound that permeates the house every time I walk into my bedroom, walk past my bedroom, even glance toward my bedroom. Lily is positively horrified that the fan monster is going to whir down and get me...or even worse...her. So she deals with this anxiety by sitting on the top stair, staring at the fan and barking until her lungs hurt- or until I can get upstairs to shut the door. It never occurs to her to turn around and walk away.
Once the offending fan is out of sight, she is able to go on about her life, napping, eating, chasing sun particles.

Do you see where I am going with this? I have my own personal ceiling fan terror- money and the economy. My entire life I have followed the cycles, earn, spend, save..without much thought. It was rhythmic, highs turned to lows that crept back to highs.

But it seems that our collective economy has hit a low, and the calls, emails and prayer requests from friends and family for successful job-seeking, job-keeping and layoff-avoiding are piling up. All the while the collective anxiety seems to be mounting due to these uncertain and unpredictable times. So I stress. I have my own version of sitting on the stair and barking- it's called worrying, complaining and worrying some more. Sometimes I even treat DH to a stress-fest of all of my worries. And he tells me time and time again, it is going to be OK, it is going to get better, worrying and stressing don't change things, it doesn't make the fear go away and it certainly doesn't positively impact the greater situation. And by stressing, I waste the energy I could be using doing productive things like keeping the house running smoothly, cutting corners where I can, and keeping a positive attitude. And when it all gets overwhelming, I do have the power to figuratively shut the door. I can read a book, talk to a friend, spend time with my girls, count my blessings...anything to cease the negative thinking from taking over.

I remind myself that I always have a job, even though the pay is nonexistent, the value to my family is priceless. If I spend my days worrying instead of doing my job, what value, what benefit does my family receive?

So I am vowing to keep on doing my job to the best of my ability and not wasting time worrying about all the things I can't change. I will keep looking forward while enjoying the gifts of the present. I truly believe it will get better, so for now I need to focus on what's in front of me and do what I can to keep things going on my end until it does.

If your heart is worried and stressed, I hope you can do the same.

Really, it is going to be OK.
Now if only I could convince poor Lily...

Don't blame me if you eat this straight from the bowl

2008-12-09T15:11:00.003-07:00

Oh it is SO hard being so good that I had to throw a naughty recipe in to keep the universe balanced and all. Things here are humming back to normal, everyone is finally healthy. I am slowly backing off the mantle of Christmas stress...baby steps, right!?

So guess what I saw last night? Looking out the window, across the moonlight shimmering snowdrifts, I saw a woman in her kitchen, cradling a metal mixing bowl like a precious newborn while shoveling some white concoction into her mouth. She was blissed out and smiling and it took a full five minutes of this shoveling before she slowed to a much slower licking the spoon and moaning stage....

Oh wait.

That lady was me. And I am sure that Neighbor Nancy is wishing I closed the blinds. And the windows.

But I couldn't help it. This stuff is dangerously tasty. I am sure the recipe is taped up at a Weight Watchers meeting somewhere with a point value near the hundred thousand mark.

But, share I must, so that you can find this joy in your very own kitchen. And before you all say I sure share a lot of recipes for a woman who claims not to cook, well all I can say is that I claim not to cook. That way when I do, people are super impressed. Even if you are cooking-challenged, this recipe is so crazy easy you can't screw it up.

It is supposed to be a Chocolate Chip coated Cheese Ball. You all let me know how that works out since I have never actually made it to the Chill Stage. I just dump all the chips in and serve it in a bowl.

INGREDIENTS
1 (8 ounce) package cream cheese, softened
1/2 cup butter, softened
3/4 cup confectioners' sugar
2 tablespoons brown sugar
1/4 teaspoon vanilla extract
1 cup miniature semisweet chocolate chips

DIRECTIONS
In a medium bowl, beat together cream cheese and butter until smooth. Mix in confectioners' sugar, brown sugar and vanilla. Stir in 1/2 cup chocolate chips. If you are like Krista, you will never make it past this step. For those of you will supergirl willpower, keep going. Shape chilled cream cheese mixture into a ball by wrapping mixture in plastic and mold. Chill in the refrigerator for 2 hours. Roll the cheese ball in finely left over mini chocolate chips. Serve with chocolate or cinnamon graham crackers.

Making the Season Bright

2008-12-08T13:37:00.002-07:00

Today I got panicky. I felt like Santa's Little Helpers themselves were jumping on my bed, following me around the house, sitting on my shoulders.. Harassing me... taunting me. What are you going to get your kids for Christmas? Your nieces? Your mom? An endless list of people came to mind. When I am in a store, my hands physically brace the cart handle as I try to buy what is on my list and ignore the Seasonal Merchandise that shouts from the aisles.

Buy Me!

You Need Me!

Your Kids Need Me!!!!

Now before you go all, "Uh, Oh, Krista's hearing voices again", let me state that I know elves aren't really talking to me, OK? The manifestation of menacing elves is only way I can adequately express how I feel this time of year. So many people I love, so much pressure and such uncertain financial times. I can feel the financial paralysis all around me as I talk to my friends about layoffs and businesses closing. Reduced hours, no bonuses, less pay, reduced benefits. With DH being our sole financial provider, it gets scary for us too. And it makes me sad that I feel the most afraid, the most anxious, the most sad during this most holy of seasons. The time of year when I should be rejoicing in peace and thanking God for his gifts, but instead I spend hours justifying the expense of yet another toy. I buy into the commercials of happy families giving cars and jewelry to one another and every time a toy commercial comes on my kids say the inevitable, " I want that!". It has become a kind of cheer in our home. A cheer that haunts me as I explain over and over again to my girls that they will get presents but Santa can't possibly bring them every single thing they want. And I don't want that for them either. I don't want them thinking the only good thing about Christmas is presents.

So what am I doing about all of this?

Trying to do as much as I can to express the true love and joy of the season with my girls and my husband. I purchased tons of flour and sugar and we are baking cookies together. I've been turning off the t.v. and playing Christmas Carols instead. We went to see a light parade downtown. We read books and watch Christmas DVDs and specials over and over again. I try and make DH's life easier by attempting to cook dinners he enjoys-meatloaf is surprisingly easy! And little things like extra hugs, coffee in bed, and telling him how blessed I am to have him go a long way. We count our blessings for our health, DH's work and our family and friends. I've been sitting by the Christmas tree with my cup of coffee and naming a blessing for every light on the tree. I still have hundreds to go, but I always leave this activity feeling happier, more peaceful. We pray for our friends and family as they cope with losses of jobs and health, that they are restored in the New Year.

To keep with the spirit of love and giving, the girls and I are making some of our presents this year, with a little creativity and a lot of love. Necklaces, Bracelets, cookies, Photo Calendars, scarves and beer bread mixes to name a few.

DH has sweetly offered to spare me trips to the store, where I feel like I am bombarded with messages to buy what we don't need. I admit that I am weak in resisting the siren call from the mall so the books, toys and other gifts that we are purchasing I am getting online or buying from friends. There will be just enough presents under our tree to feel celebratory.

Even so it is my hope and prayer that it is the memories we make in preparing for Christmas that are the true light and love in my little girls' hearts. I pray they experience the joys of giving. I pray that they appreciate the gifts they have. I pray that this week, they are able to part with some of their toys with a happy heart knowing they will make another child's Christmas bright. And for me, I pray for peace of mind.

What better gift is there than a happy, healthy family?

Sum Up Your Life (thus far) in Six Words

2008-12-05T00:00:00.001-07:00

What would you say?

Blessed, loved, searching, constantly creatively striving

and

I can't believe I'm a mom

What we're doing this snowy day

2008-12-04T13:37:00.002-07:00

It looks like my family is on the mend! The snow is whirling out my window and I am content to sit in my favorite chair and finish Eclipse so I can move on to the final book. I was so wrapped up in my book last night that DH was talking to me and I couldn't even answer him. When he asked what I was reading about, I replied, "A vampire was just decapitated and now they are burning her." DH commented that it sounded like some really nice bedtime reading.
And it is. Who knew that werewolves and vampires could be so Romantic?

In other news I had a check-up yesterday and surprise, surprise, I am fat. Overweight, chubby, what have you. The doctor told me that I needed to lose some weight during this most wonderful time of the year...So here I go. Again.

So in the spirit of losing, I exercised with E. She happily perched on her chair with her bowl of Cheese Nips and told me what to do on the trampoline. Every now and then she would join me and show me specifically how to do a certain exercise. Like the Woolly Bully and the Rock Lobster. It was fun, and after an hour I was exhausted so it must have burned something.

So a few more weeks of portion control and exercise and I should be back on track. I really wish I hadn't eaten all those nachos during Election season. In an effort to burn a few more calories, I am off to go shovel the driveway. Maybe that'll burn off a few chips.

I'm waiting for the CDC to quarantine our house

2008-12-02T10:42:00.004-07:00

Yes, we really do get sick all the time. You can blame it on my housekeeping, my girls refusal to wear socks or the fact that N will eat anything that is not specifically listed as toxic. The ironic thing is N seems to be merely a carrier of disease and E and I are catchers.

So poor E is still coughing with a croupy cough. I sleep (ha, ha, lay) with her and her entourage of 75 stuffed animals, 3 blankets, 2 waters and a half of a Kenneth Cole compact mirror. This mirror has been very important lately. She likes to wake up and check if her dark circles are gone under her eyes.

She is on meds, vitamins, humidity, prayers, gallons of cranberry and oj. I know it just needs to run it's course but the lack of sleep is catching up to me. I think I napped for a full minute while standing in line to buy Mucinex this morning. My comfy bed lassos me every time I pass my room and I have to fight the urge to give in and sleep.

If N doesn't nap today I am going to place her in her room with half a dozen Advent Calendars and tell her she can't come out until all of those tiny windows are open and she found baby Jesus.

E will nap for sure. She hates those dark circles. Just like mama.

Sick Day

2008-12-01T13:24:00.002-07:00

Well, Thanksgiving has passed and I have made just about everything imaginable with my turkey- turkey tostadas anyone? My girls have resorted to eating cheese sticks and edamame just to avoid the dreaded T.

I guess it's time to freeze the rest.

E still has the Croup so I am not getting much done around here today. I had high aspirations for an early wake up but shut my alarm off when it rang and woke up a full 2 hours later. I guess I was tired!

There is always tomorrow, right? I will try to come up with something more interesting to write about then. For now I am about to debone the remaining 10 pounds of turkey and freeze it. That should take awhile.

Oh Someone Please Hold Me AKA Thanksgiving

2008-11-27T06:24:00.002-07:00

Well, things aren't going so well.

It started last night when I attempted to make some beer bread-it is seriously flour and beer with melted butter on it-to add to my stuffing (dressing?) tomorrow. Well, I don't always (never) follow directions when baking and tried to bake the bread in a 8x3 pan instead of a 9x5. I figured bread puffs up, it will just rise above the edges, no biggie, right?
Wrong,
Wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong.

What really happens is the bread will expand like some kind of nuclear cloud and it will rain nuclear butter on the bottom of your oven, which will then smoke like a 4-alarm fire. All this at 9:30 at night.
So I had to open all the windows for a good half hour and crank the heat to obscene levels.

Oh I wish it ended there.

So I took the bread out, turned the oven off and asked DH if we needed to clean the acid rain of butter that is at the bottom of the oven before we roasted our turkey. He thought it would be best, and agreed to turn on the self-clean option before he went to bed.

At 1:00am I woke up coughing and could see a smokey haze filtering into my room. Cursing my homeland and butter's hypnotic hold over me, I checked on my girls, opened all the windows, all the fans and waited an hour until the cleaning cycle was done.

3 hours later I wake again to the sealy bark of a croupy cough coming from E's room. So on come the showers, out come the humidifiers and somewhere along the way my sanity shimmied on out as well.

It is quarter to seven on Thanksgiving Day. DH is recovering from a bad cold in the guest bed, N has the same cold, I am almost done with it and poor little E has the croup.
Maybe I'll serve Nyquil and Emergen-C shooters this year.
Happy Thanksgiving!

The Day Before

2008-11-26T10:35:00.002-07:00

As usual, I have successfully completed about 1/100th of what I had planned to in the area of preparing food for Thanksgiving. I am hopelessly sucked (ha, ha) into a book and am afraid that I am going to have to make some sort of announcement that I was too enamored with a teenage vampire love story that I couldn't be bothered to iron the napkins and well, actually MAKE the turkey.

Just kidding.
Kind of.
My turkey is defrosting in the fridge, I keep poking it every time I am in there, not sure what I am hoping to feel but I can't help it. I did track down my recipe for Brining- Alton Brown's Good Eats Brined Turkey, made three lists- lost two and well, here I am.

So, today I am going to pull off some sort of Thanksgiving miracle. I am off to go buy some candied ginger and allspice berries.

Noticing A Trend

2008-11-25T08:00:00.003-07:00

So I just added two Simplifying sites to my page. I am continuing to attempt to move my family into this lifestyle. Definitely a work in progress...

4:30 am

2008-11-25T06:31:00.003-07:00

I said that I was enjoying getting up a little earlier but this is ridiculous. Out of the four beds in our home, only one seems to get used most of the time.
Mine.
And not by me.

Last night started with me reading in my bed. I am on to New Moon in the Twilight series and I am a little ticked that it is not going my way. Which just makes me want to read it more often and faster.
So I was reading with Lily tucked into my neck blowing puppy breath up my nose all content when E comes in.
She can't sleep. I pull back the covers and in she hops and before her little tresses hit my favorite pillow, she is out.
A half-hour later, in hops Belle.
2 dogs, 2 humans for those who are counting.

11:30- N cries. In she comes.
3 humans, 2 dogs and I am fairly sure that at some point, DH poked his head in, saw that there was no room at the inn and found his own bed.
12:01 N cries (again) threatening to wake E and a rowdy puppy, so I scoop her up and she and I go to her room.
12:30 Belle follows
1:10 DH goes to our bed with E and Lily
1:30 Belle goes back to my bed to see if Lily wants to wrestle. DH leaves our bed and finds his own.
2:00 Belle returns to N's room with me
2:45 N is not happy, wakes up and cries.
2:47 N and I return to my bed, where Lily and E are peacefully slumbering. Belle finds DH.
4:13 N is up. Wakes Lily. Wakes me.
4:15 N and I are up for the day. We take Lily downstairs and I tell DH he can go back to our bed and take Belle with him.
6:41 N is on her second round of Sesame Street and I am on my third cup of coffee. DH, E and Belle are sleeping in my bed.
E had the best sleep all night.

Normally I can sleep through anything. Four years ago I slept through a plane crash that happened a few streets down in my parent's neighborhood.
Last night I heard every sheet ruffle, every stair padding, every door clicking.
Maybe it's the book I'm reading?

Lily

2008-11-24T08:01:00.004-07:00

Dear Lily,

It has not been 24 hours yet since we brought you home and already you are napping on my favorite chair and I am left to perch on the 1/2 inch that is left over to write this. For a 7 pound dog you sure can take up space.

You were in a cage, far too big for you, when I passed. When I came to you , I scanned your history which wasn't much information at all. You might be one. You've only been Lily the past few weeks and at one time you lived with four kids, you were affectionate and loved your tummy to be rubbed. Everyone's best guess at your heritage is terrier mix.

As soon as your name passed my lips, you immediately sat and cocked your head at me. Melting at your trick, I turned around and immediately asked to walk you. When the shelter volunteer placed you in my arms and you pawed up to my face to give me a kiss, I was smitten. Prancing on your leash outside, DH got his first look at your mismatched floppy ears and butterscotch drop paws. He could not resist the imperfect puppiness bounding at his feet.

You greeted my girls with licky-kisses and during your meet with Belle, well, let's say you laid down your law.

I filled out an application that was only second to college admissions in detail and references (family members don't count!). Promises, initials, details, histories and addresses.

They called three people and our vet to make sure we would love you and give you all that you need.

I had you in my arms for mere minutes when another couple asked to walk you. My heart clenched and before you can say Puppy Chow, DH was signing the adoption papers. I could not, would not, give you up.

A few hours later, DH gently cradled her in my arms, and the tears came. All the love I have for Bijou flooded my heart. Lily reminded me how very much I love and miss Bijou. Lily did not mend the tear in my heart, but she is sewing her own section.

Welcome to our family, Lily. I just know you are going to love it here.

I love it when we "Fall Back"

2008-11-21T06:40:00.002-07:00

With no extra effort on my part, I am suddenly waking up a full hour earlier and getting so many things done before 8, that I feel like Superwoman. Suddenly our mornings are less rushed, I have time to actually make breakfast that consists of more than a pop tart and we don't sprint out the door hair-half-brushed and socks unmatched.

My little girls are also waking up at 6am but I am OK with that since they go to bed at 7:15 at night. When they wake they pad into my room and crawl into my bed just as I leave it and snuggle in together and watch a show on my t.v. They believe that anything before sunrise is "the middle of the night" so they are happy to lounge around for an hour while I blog, make my coffee, get showered and dressed. By the time 7am rolls around, I am ready, and we still have a generous hour before we need to leave for preschool, and that feels downright luxurious.

As I finish this up, E is half on my lap asking me questions about why I don't wear a bikini at Preschool Swim Day. I will end this on that laugh.

Want to see a sad day at preschool?

2008-11-20T15:20:00.003-07:00

Oh yes, it's that time of year again. Flu shot season. The shot that keeps my daughter up at night, that makes her quiver at the mere consideration. The shot that determines what she wants to be when she grows up...nurse-no since she would need the shot, rock star-yes, since they likely live on the edge when it comes to the flu. (There are so many conversations I am going to have to have with her on this vocation.....)

Anyway, having learned from our experiences last year, I decided to surprise her. No, not in that fun, "Surprise! We're going to Disney World" way, more in the "Oh, look it's shot day at preschool!" as she is herded in the room.

It didn't work.

It also didn't help that we were greeted by the nurse with, "Evelyn, I remember you!".

Flashbacks populated my head as I took my seat and lined up my two little girls like nesting dolls on the tiny chairs. If E could have crawled inside of N she would have. N, blissfully unaware was excited about the prospect of a sucker and the "I'm a Flu-fighter" sticker.

A few minutes later, N and I had ours, and with the help of 3 people restraining her, E had hers too. I felt like an old lady telling my girls how "lucky they were to have flu shots" and "when I was a girl, they didn't have them and I got the flu, and it was horrible, and I spent my days puking, sneezing, achy and I couldn't even watch television or have candy".
Even with my cautionary tale, E was not convinced and limped all the way back down the hall, giving me the sad eyes.

Today I am achy, N is fussy, and ironically, E is the only one showing no signs of the shot.
It is literally freezing cold today-with cloudy mist and ice-roped electrical lines so it is perfect for lying low inside. Even the mountains are shrouded in the promise of snow.
To pass the achy time, DH got me Twilight to read and I am beyond excited as I was number 46 in the library's queue to get it. I did a little squeal for joy when he handed to me, and immediately sat down to devour it.
Now, I finally understand what everyone was talking about. It is the perfect curl on the couch and drink coffee kind of escape.

It feels like Christmas

2008-11-19T14:57:00.003-07:00

Hallelujah, praise baby Jesus!

I got my cleaning lady back.

I could cry I am so excited.

When I saw that Dunkin Donuts coffee was on super sale I didn't think my day could get any better.

There are economies to be made to have her, (bye-bye Starbucks lattes) but she is so, so worth it to me.

Random thoughts on my new Regime

2008-11-18T14:52:00.003-07:00

So now that the craziness is over I have found myself with a piece of time that I am not sure what to do with. I spent many minutes, hours, weeks on automatic pilot, exhausted from the sheer stress of it all. I attended activities that I would prefer a root canal over. And I have had a root canal so I know what I am saying.

Since DH is not an elected official, I can drop the pretences like a bad sweater that no longer fits. And it feels liberating.
And exciting.
I might even add pictures to my blog now.
And names.
And tell the stories that are really, truly, me.

And I know that I am going to disappoint some people when I bow out of some groups that just don't fit this new frame of mind. But I can't live my life worrying about disappointing people, right?

I guess it is time to prioritize, reorganize, and jazzercise. Just kidding on the last one. I know that there are women who are living truly fulfilling lives and although I do not believe they have it all, I do believe they have found the equation that works for them. So, I guess I am sitting down and working on my math.

Oz

2008-11-17T18:31:00.003-07:00

Vacation was wonderful but I must say it feels splendid to be home again. Actually vacation is somewhat of a misnomer as DH and I have concurred that as long as we are traveling with small children it is a trip and not a true vacation.

Yet home we are, but not just home like I left it, but home like it was, before this whirlwind of politics swept up my home, my family, my husband and my sanity. I feel like Dorothy, stepping out of the world of OZ and back home, yet home is better, brighter and lovelier than I had remembered.

I must first say that of course I wanted DH to win. To gave what we gave and not have it go our way was heartbreaking. The first few days post-election felt strangly empty and cloudy. Then I spent a family vacation in Florida and remembered how nice it was to have my husband around again. When we returned home we attended a baby shower together, for fun, no work or politics involved. Sitting on the couch, eating appetizers and laughing with friends never felt so sweet. But the best part,hands down, was spending 5 consecutive hours with DH without our children. I felt like I had my friend back, one that I truly missed.

And speaking of friends, I have missed mine as well. I have a lot of catching up to do, it has been a strangely populated lonely experience. I was constantly surrounded by people for months, yet so out of touch with many of the people that truly mattered to me. I missed parties, appointments, birthdays, meeting babies.

I am not sure what the future holds for us, but for now I am savoring the bliss of relative normalcy. I was even well rested enough this morning to laugh instead of cry when I recognized (too late) that our dog sitter used my towel to dry Belle off after her bath. Covered in dog hair, I hopped back in the shower and enjoyed the extra 5 minutes to myself.

It is good to be home. Home like it is meant to be.

Sunny Florida

2008-11-13T12:02:00.003-07:00

The past 6 days in Florida have been nothing short of heaven. Palmy blue skies, emerald ocean and best of all the house pool that my girls splash in all.day.long. I have not sat still this long in a very long time. Aside from getting the occasional Diet Pepsi or Towel, I have been spending my days blissed out on a lounge chair.

I feel lazy and it is a true treat. I have a few days left and then I will be back to blogging from Colorado.

But for now, it's time to put my computer safely inside, far away from my splashing girls and apply some fresh SPF.

We lost

2008-11-05T10:00:00.003-07:00

44 % just wasn't enough.

We are going to regroup, spend some time together as a family and just think.

We were up late last night, today is a quiet day, I think we will go to a movie.

Thanks to all that supported us...we are blessed with some great friends and family that made this ride all the better.

The Day has finally come!

2008-11-04T07:17:00.003-07:00

I woke up feeling like it was Christmas/my wedding day/a major job interview. The butterflies in my stomach feel more like owls thrashing around. I am so excited, so hopeful, so ready to vote.

It has been a long 16 months, over half of N's life we have been campaigning for this seat.

I am getting the girls ready, dropping off N at preschool, getting my hair cut and then to the polls I wait.
I have a really good book on HenryVIII if I end up waiting for hours. And my election night outfit is all ready to go. I would describe myself as cautiously optimistic. And very ready for tonight-whatever the outcome.

36 Hours

2008-11-03T12:24:00.002-07:00

That is all that is left and Tuesday night can't arrive soon enough. Our race is very close, too close for a poll to call so wait we must. In the meantime DH is calling, sign-waving, walking, basically doing everything possible to earn any last votes.

I am trying to keep the house running and the kids calm. I am tired. You would not believe how exhausting it is not to respond to dirty looks and nasty comments, lol! All I will say is that DH's opponent has some good friends...but I believe that ours are better. But seriously, it is hard to never say anything back, to just smile and walk away, to pretend that I didn't hear. I have never been one to keep my opinions to myself so this has been excruciating at times.

Tomorrow morning I cast my vote, get my hair done then spend the day with H. In the late afternoon we will head down to the Colorado GOP party to watch the results come in. The party should go on well into the night and I can't express adequately how much I am looking forward to it.
Wish us luck!

A Certain Campaign has Recruited my Laptop

2008-10-30T22:05:00.002-06:00

Slowly but steadily I have watched things disappear from my home for the good of the campaign. Office furniture, flags, caffinated beverages, the good snacks and finally, I woke up one morning and the ottoman where my laptop sleeps was bare. That morning I found myself sipping a Sierra Mist and eating those low-fat chips I bought in July, while attempting to blog by writing it all down on a piece of paper thinking I would post it later.

I ended up with:

A grocery list
A Christmas list
A flight number
A phone number

And no blog. So there you have it.

The only reason I have my computer now is because I nabbed it from the campaign headquarters along with some good chocolate. I am sure our time together is limited and I am sure I will wake up with it gone, unless I put it in the drawer with all of my girly bathroom things that DH is terrified of, so I thought I would take these few minutes to say Hi. And I missed you.

And I am told we are about to embark on a 96 hour campaign Blitz and all I can think of when I hear that is Blintz, which I adore and then I get all hungry and distracted.

So, the final days are here. Sleep is a long lost friend of mine. Sanity is not far behind.

Panic Because I am making dinner

2008-10-28T13:45:00.003-06:00

Today I went to visit my old Mothers of Preschoolers group. It warmed my heart to see so many familiar faces along with so many new moms and I enjoyed all the conversations I got to have while drinking still-hot coffee and eating tasty breakfast foods that I did not make.

At every other meeting this group has a speaker. I have enjoyed dozens of insightful, engaging, informative and down-right hilarious speakers. This morning was one of my favorites because it was about food- who doesn't love food!? and saving time and money-also interesting past-times for me.

So these two ladies demonstrated how with just a little time and planning, I could make extra dinners not only for my family, but to give away and best of all, to keep in my freezer so I never had to resort to fast food for dinner. The method is fairly straight-forward.
1. Scan coupons and ads for loss-leaders and stock up.
2. Plan menus around these items.
3. Make 3-9 batches of these dinners at once, eat one and freeze the rest for another day.
4. Enjoy the fruits of your labor on a night when cooking seems impossible.
5. Save money, eat well and feel good about all that you've done for your family.

Here's how it goes for me.
1. Scan coupons and go to the store with every intention of purchasing the loss leaders. Purchase all the flashy stuff on the aisle, something new I haven't tried and US Weekly or People (depending on the cover).
2. Come home with twice as much as I had planned- as now I have all those "loss leaders" in the cart with my regulars of Diet Mt. Dew, chocolate, hummus, cheese, and some organic things for the girls.
3. Stuff the "loss leaders" in my fridge and wait until I find the right time to make 9 batches of lasagna.
4. Eat the hummus, the chocolate, the cheese and read the magazine.
5. Realize that I am out of food and go shopping again.
6. Finally break down and try to make 9 dinners.
7.Spend 6 hours reading, cooking, wrapping (crying) and freezing
8. Promise myself to never try this again until they speak again at another meeting.

Please don't get me wrong. I think these women are fabulous and their idea of freezing dinners is ingenious and time and money-saving. I just can't seem to get it done, or get it done right.

What are we having for dinner tonight you might be wondering?
Artichokes, hummus, cheese and chocolate of course. And maybe some frozen ice cream.

Bijou 1996-2008

2008-10-26T22:33:00.004-06:00

So I have been crying. A lot. And my chest feels as if I have inhaled wet cement. I have accepted the fact that my little dog is gone. I know in my heart that she is. And I need to find a way to cope, and a way not to completely fall apart at every Pet Med commercial.

So here it is. A letter to my dog.

Dear Bijou,

I knew this day was coming but when you lose someone or something you desperately love, it is never a good time. I would give anything to have another day with you. To hold you, to give you treats, to tell you that you were just the best dog a girl could hope for. If I had known Monday was your last, I would have wrapped you in cashmere while feeding you hamburger. I would have let you get the squirrel once and for all. I would give you two greenies and some snausages just to watch you hide them in the couch. I would hold you all night and tell you what a good girl you are, and that I was the lucky one all this time.

I remember the ad I read when I found you. A local rescue group had saved you, you were knocked up with one huge puppy and since you were only 10 pounds, it was a serious situation. A kind vet took care of you and as soon as you were ready a nice lady brought you to my high rise apartment in St. Louis.

When she pulled up to the door, I could see your sweet face peeking out the window, bounding back and forth, forth and back in the car. You ran right toward me and settled in my heart.

We had a rough beginning. You grew up in the city and you were a fighter. I was not prepared for the countless scraps you would start with dogs large and small, kind and ferocious. I was also not prepared for your panache in pooing in the middle of busy crosswalks, during rush hour of course.

In my grieving process, I have written you six eulogies. Not sure why or where I was planning on reading them but wrote them I did, and they call come down to this.

All this time I thought I was rescuing you but you rescued me.

From my sheltered life- I met a pimp (and befriended) his lady friend on our nightly walks in Saint Louis. She always asked me if a little conditioner might help your hair.

From banality-the time a chicken bone fell from a tree at two am while on our stroll. I was too afraid to look up to see where it came from, then too preoccupied doing the doggie Heimlich so you could spit it out.

From cliques-remember when we were asked to leave our very first dog group that consisted of all dog owners in my building? That made for some interesting elevator rides.

From being wildlife-naive. Specifically in regards to opossums. If you didn't need to potty at 2am I would have never come across one. And a certain doorman wouldn't have a hilarious story to share of the time a white girl from the north met an opossum and swore it was a deformed radio-active cat while screeching and eventually hiding behind his desk.

From heartbreak and sadness-when I was down you were always there to lay with me. Through grieving, morning sickness and overall malaise, you stood by me. You made me get out of bed in the morning when I could not think of a reason to greet the day.

I love you Bijou. Always.

Love,

Mama

Still Lost

2008-10-22T16:33:00.002-06:00

I am still looking for Bijou. My thanks goes out to all who are helping and praying. I am still crying at all pet commercials and every time I think about her. I am trying not to lose hope that she is OK and that she will come back to me.

To make today worse, a negative ad was mailed about DH. He is not worried but I hate this stuff. All I can say is if you run for office, be careful in college. It all ends up on a piece of paper, mailed to your nearest and dearest 50,000 neighbors.

I want my dog back. Maybe I could mail that out.

Lost Dog

2008-10-21T14:47:00.002-06:00

My 12-year-old Cairn Terrier is missing. Not sure how she got out but she did. DH took Belle out to search the open space and Neighbor Nancy and I canvassed it as well. Animal Control and the pound have been called.
All I am doing is crying, searching, waiting and praying someone has her but just hasn't called yet.

I got her when she was only 2.

Bijou, please, please, please come home.

Sarah Palin

2008-10-20T17:27:00.002-06:00

Today I had the opportunity to bring my aunt and uncle and two daughters to see Sarah Palin speak. DH had to campaign for himself so he couldn't go so we used his tickets.

Have you ever been to a political rally? I hadn't since college- I saw Bill Clinton in St. Louis and Ross Perot (along with a man dressed as a chicken) at my university. Perot actually passed out tiny pieces of paper for questions and I remember his distinct twang of energy and rap of his pointer. His name was bedazzled on hats, jeans and shirts.

This experience was so different.

I had long forgotten the signs, the energy, and of course, the outfits. But the outfits were not what I was expecting. There was no glitter, and flair was rare. Most people wore red and the most common accessory I saw was a Coach bag. As for hair and hats, I kid you not, in the row in front of me I could only describe the three women's hair styles as Palin-esque.

She spoke for 33 minutes, some people waited in line to see her for 12 times longer than that. The venue had more people (15,000) than seats (8,000) so many people had to go to an alternate viewing area where her speech was projected on a giant screen.

All in all, it was very exciting. Like a rock concert for politics. But now I am exhausted and my girls are slowly melting into their chairs. I am crossing my fingers for an early bedtime. We have two weeks left of campaigning and we need every minute possible.

Crashed Potatoes

2008-10-18T20:51:00.003-06:00

The Pioneer Lady has done it again. Look at these potatoes! And so simple, even I can do it.

http://thepioneerwoman.com/cooking/2008/06/crash-hot-potatoes/

I am going to make them next week- as soon as I buy some potatoes.
And Kosher salt.
And pepper.
And Rosemary.

I ate 2 creme brulees and an artichoke for dinner tonight. I am not exactly working with a full pantry.

Adventures in Baking and Finding good jeans

2008-10-17T14:28:00.003-06:00

Oh today is gorgeous. Sunny, deep blue sky and golden leaves on the Aspens. The perfect day for an afternoon coffee on the deck. I am not on the deck right now because all of our trees and bushes are being cut down (hacked) for the season and it makes me a little sad to watch the carnage.

My girls are in their rooms trying to have some quiet time. N naps great when E is in preschool, but days that E is home are a completely different story. E just loves to bug her sister, toss things in her room, rap on her wall, basically drive her crazy. I warned E that she better be nice to N or she will not like what N has to write about her in her future memoirs.

In honor of Fall I have been doing 2 things. Baking-I know, yikes, right? And browsing (OK, Shopping) for new clothes for the season. But I must be careful with these activities as Baking has a very negative correlation to the enjoyment I find in shopping. If I remember from my research methods class they have an inverse relationship. See dad, I do use my degree!

Anyway, I've been baking muffins because A: they're small and cook quickly and B: They are relatively easy. My dear Mother-in Law picked me up some gluten-free baking mix by NOW and I am so loving it. I made pumpkin chocolate chip muffins twice and banana chocolate chip muffins once with it. I like to stick chocolate chips in all my baked goods. That and an extra teaspoon of vanilla always. So, I must be honest and admit that my first batch of pumpkin chocolate chip muffins didn't quite turn out. Since Neighbor Nancy was so sweet to give me some eggs to make them, I sent some of the muffins over to her house.
Then I tried one.

And then I wanted to send E back over to her house, sneak out my muffins and replace them with the Starbucks ones. Seriously. My muffins were too dense, like a fallen souffle, with no cakey-crumb. Just kind of muffin chunks. Aren't you glad you're not Neighbor Nancy now?

Anyway, determined to succeed I have since baked 2 more batches with better results. It seems that there is a difference between baking powder and baking soda and that "looking done" is not the same as "being done".

On the shopping front, I found a nice site for online shopping sizing.
www.zafu.com

I have heard that it works especially well in helping you find which brands/types of jeans fit. I am going to give it a shot. I am desperate to find jeans that fit me well and don't flash the Target cart boy every time I buckle my kid into a car seat.

Happy Friday!

Losing and Gaining

2008-10-16T21:39:00.002-06:00

I was warned that the final weeks of campaigning would be crazy but I had no idea. I am behind. Behind on calls, behind on emails, behind on shopping, behind on laundry. Babies have been born and I haven't visited yet....I am behind. And I hate being behind.

I have 6,000 letters to mail. I haven't started yet, but I have the feeling that I am already behind.

DH is gaining ground but this race is so close. And I hate to lose. So I guess it is okay to be behind in the effort to move him ahead.

On the News

2008-10-15T14:30:00.002-06:00

Tonight the Denver News Stations will be at the Campaign Center where volunteers are working to get several candidates elected, including DH. DH gave me 24 hours notice!!

24 whole hours, I think he is getting better at giving advanced notice. I think he got the message from me and our very fabulous campaign treasurer who can always be counted on to give a good word to DH on my behalf.

So, I am off to do my hair, pick some flattering clothes and try to remember how to do the whole flattering make-up thing so I don't look orange and shiny or white with racoon eyes. Makeup is not my forte but I look seriously anemic in pictures without it.

Think good thoughts for me please. Mostly that I look nice and don't say anything silly. I tend to get a little nervous and talk on and on and on.

Also, DH has a campaign commercial on You tube. If you want to see it, and haven't seen it yet on Facebook put your email address in my comments and I will send you the link. I will delete your address as soon as I get it.

The Circus and the Duggars

2008-10-14T13:46:00.003-06:00

Monday passed me in a whir of activity. My parents and I took the girls to the circus and then I spent the rest of the afternoon and evening prying them from the ceiling fans after all the sugar they ingested. Was it necessary to give them the giant sucker, cotton candy and chocolate covered marshmallows (OK, I admit, that one was my fault)?

Um no. But that is what grandparents are for, right? By the time I sat down last night, semi-dazed at 9pm, our wireless was down due to DH rearranging his office space. So there we have it. Since I couldn't write, I took a long bath with about a half-gallon of Epsom salt and read my UsWeekly. I like to open the window in the bathroom and make it freezing and then sit in the really warm bath and pretend that I'm really outside at some fabulous resort somewhere.

Today was more of a typical day with preschool and a visit to the dog park. Today also marks 3 weeks until election day and my mind is racing with all that still needs to be done, is currently being done and all that I was supposed to get done last week.

How am I handling the stress? With chocolate and reality television of course! TLC gave my favorite family of 19 (going on 20!) family a reality series and I am in heaven. The Duggars have a show. Yipee!

http://tlc.discovery.com/tv-schedules/series.html?paid=2.14413.124738.37018.x

There's just something about this family that completely fascinates me. What's even better is the last two episodes have them hosting their friends from Tennessee who have 16 kids (with one on the way that they discovered via a pregnancy test in a Shell gas station at 3am on the trip to visit the Duggars!) They have 33 kids between them-with two more coming.

Aside from the homemade apparel from 19th century patterns, the kids seem relatively normal and more shocking than that- well-behaved. They also have an only-child cousin Amy who is a riot and provides the commentary that most of us in the audience are thinking.

Check it out for some fun. At the very least, it is educational. There are a lot of math facts that pop up during the show-like if the Duggar children all have 18 children, the Duggars will have 324 grandchildren. That's a lot of Christmas shopping! And a lot of candy to buy at the circus.

A little Friday Levity

2008-10-10T14:38:00.003-06:00

With the Markets crashing, rumors of closing and a large election looming in the upcoming weeks, I thought we could all use a little levity. Since I don't follow the news- unless you consider USWeekly and E! News actual news, I miss out on a lot of the negative press. This snippet is some seriously negative press for some poor woman.

I found it on one of my favorite blogs, failblog.org. It always makes me laugh. I had to include this one today. If you have time, check it out for a giggle.

I've got a new addiction

2008-10-09T15:45:00.002-06:00

Dear Starbucks,

Why, why, why do you need to keep inventing new drinks? For years, I have been able to drink a skinny vanilla latte without guilt. It was tasty, it was warm, and it didn’t make my jeans tight. Sometimes I could even drink it with sugar-free syrup. I was that disciplined.

A few months ago, you introduced the Vivianno protein powder and that addition made my latte sing. It was so creamy AND it had extra protein in it so I didn’t get such a sugar rush. Skinny Vanilla with protein and I had a very nice summer together and I was relatively happy with how things were going, blissfully unaware of what was to come.

Before I knew it, fall fell, and you pulled tricks out your sleeve that I could not have foreseen or prepared myself for. Your first one, Pumpkin Spice Latte, I could handle. I knew the minute September rolled in; it would appear in chalk on the blackboard gently taunting me.
Feeling reasonably strong, I allowed myself to dabble in PSL every few days or so. A skinny one of course, with a touch of whip cream. Soon it became harder and harder to return to old skinny vanilla latte. It tasted sad and bland with no pumpkiny punch. So I replaced Skinny Vanilla, with Skinny Pumpkin and vowed to do a little extra cardio.

And then, THEN you introduce me via sample to something so diabolically good I am going to need a counselor and a patch to quit. There aren’t enough stairs in a stadium to burn this one off.

Salted Carmel Hot Chocolate.

At first I thought I could let this one slide since it was hot chocolate and not coffee and therefore completely useless to me. But this morning I asked (why, why, do I torture myself?) if it is possible to put espresso in it and then I prayed that the barista would tell me that would ruin it.
But no, she even encouraged it, remarking that 2 shots would make it even better. Before I could count the calories, I had ordered my tall (ok my mind said tall but my mouth said Grande) Salted Carmel Hot Chocolate with 2 shots of espresso.

It was love at first sip. It is sweet, it is salty, the chocolate velvety and the whip cream luscious. It was heaven in a cup, ying and yang, all the flavors in perfect harmony. It makes a mocha taste like a package of Carnation Instant breakfast.

But now 6 hours later, I am left with an empty cup, waiting patiently for tomorrow morning so I can get another one.

For those of you who haven’t tried it, I would definitely recommend it, but I would put a shot of espresso in it. It was perfectly sweet with 2. For those of you who have a problem with chocolate, as in you can’t just say no, there have been interventions in your past, well then stay far away from this one. Or better yet start getting your coffee from McDonalds and hope that this drink is just seasonal. I am hoping that too, or I can see a lot of salads with fat-free dressing in my future.

Too self-involved

2008-10-08T17:35:00.003-06:00

As I was unstrapping N out of her car seat today, I looked up to make sure that E was staying safely close to me by the car in the life-and-death zone known as the Target parking lot. As soon as I had two little hands on either side of me, we proceeded toward the store, list and schedules running through my head. Nearing the crosswalk, I looked up at the entrance again to see a familiar face walking toward me. An old friend, a very dear friend, a friend that I am ashamed to admit that I have not spoken to in over a month- all my fault.

We soon recognized each other and picked up the pace until we greet with a hug and a smile. She asked me how I was doing, with the election, with my tooth surgery, with all the crazy stuff that I had going on. I went on for about 5 minutes with all of my woes before I realized that I hadn't yet asked her how she was.
So I did.

And she replied with, "A few weeks ago, I had a miscarriage."

As my mind processed this, my heart clenched as it sank to the pit of my stomach. Her face was sad, and tired, and although impeccably dressed, her face gave it all away. And it took me five minutes of talking about myself to notice. We were always pregnant together, always celebrating the ends of the first trimesters, praying and consoling each other through the scary times and celebrating the safe (at last for her last pregnancy) arrivals of our babies.

We spoke for 10 minutes in that windy leaf-whipping parking lot. Sharing intimate details, heartaches, and my condolences. I thought of all that I could have done for her if I had known. I thought back to her unreturned voicemail messages and tried to decipher which one was the one where my friend was calling to tell me such heartbreaking news. And I didn't call her back.

Nothing is more important to me than my friendships and I dropped a big ball weeks ago that I only learned of today. What if I hadn't gone to Target today? This election and the lifestyle that has accompanied it has put me in a bubble of activity and urgent invitations. But no evite or urgent invitation is sent when a friend loses a baby.

Sweet friend, I am so sorry that I wasn't there for you. You have always been there for me and I am terribly sorry that I missed this one. More so, I am terribly sorry that this happened to you at all.

I am here now.

Back to the Pumpkin Patch

2008-10-07T13:05:00.003-06:00

We made it back from Minnesota safe and sound. E was a fairy-like flower girl, and N was disturbed at the "mess" E made while sprinkling petals, and spent the better part of the ceremony trying to pick them up.

We arrived home just after midnight and less than 8 hours later I was knee-deep in mud at the preschool pumpkin patch field trip. I was wearing my most unfavorite clothes as all of my others were dirty from the trip. Oh, did I mention that E vomited for the last 5 hours on the trip out? It made for some very interesting laundry.

Ick. Sorry if you were eating lunch.

So today N had her field trip to the patch and again we selected our pumpkins and played in the hay. One warning, if you have never picked a pumpkin from the vine- they are thorny! They have a zillion tiny blondish spikes just waiting to poke you and your small child. Use the clippers they give you. Every time.

When that was over I took the girls and Belle to the dog park to see who would get exhausted first (me). While my girls were busy running the agility course with the dogs I got to chatting about politics with two older women sitting on the bench. They first stated that they previously voted for DH's opponent, but after talking, one said she just might change her vote this time. The other one is so NOT changing. So that is how I am campaigning. One vote at a time at a dog park.

So here I am, three hours after I started this post typing in the bathroom while N is trying to go potty and pick remnants of dinner out of her nose. It ended up being a fantastic fall day. DH is downtown so it was just the girls and I for dinner so I made some our our favorite things. First, I steamed an artichoke and served it with melted lemon butter. Then I simmered red lentils and grated fresh Parmesan on top with a little extra virgin olive oil. The last thing I did was slice and saute some apple Gouda chicken sausages. It was so easy and tasty. The artichoke takes about 45 minutes to steam but everything else was ready in less than 15 minutes.

And when the girls are in bed, I will have some serious chocolate.

Bon Voyage

2008-10-02T15:04:00.002-06:00

So tonight's the night that we are leaving for Minnesota.
I am not packed.
The kids are not packed.
We are so very not ready at all.

Well, I do have Neighbor Nancy's Sex and the City DVDs packed. That's a start, right?

One of the things I hope to pick up from Minnesota are some apples. Especially Honey Crisp. Have you ever had one? They are heaven! The growing season is short so they can be spendy-sometimes over $2 for just one apple here in Colorado. If you see one, try one, you will not be disappointed.

Other than gorging myself on apples, I will eat my Lays Dill potato chips and Wisconsin Cheese by proxy. And of course I will have something fried, that should never, ever be fried.

I will be back on Monday-I hope you all have a fun weekend.

Make Yourself Happy

2008-10-01T09:11:00.003-06:00

I was doing my usual trolling on the web and found this article. Yeah, some of it is basic common sense, but reminders always help.

I'm not necessarily in a funk- just stressed with the election and daily life in general. 35 days Thirty-five days. 5 weeks. That's it, that's all. I can see the poll booth now but I am caught in this strange place of not having enough time to campaign and feeling tired and wanting it all to be over. DH is out nightly (and daily) now and I miss him.

Tomorrow night is another big debate and as soon as the last hand is shaken, we are piling in the car for an overnight drive to Minnesota. I am so excited to see family and am hoping to pack in as much bonding and fun times that 48 hours will allow. Neighbor Nancy lent me her entire Sex and the City DVD collection (isn't she the best neighbor?) so that is what I will be watching on the drive. Hopefully the children will sleep. Ha, ha, ha, I almost choked on that one. Anyway, I will have a lot of explaining to do about what is happening on mama's laptop. Either that or we'll just watch a Charlotte's wedding for awhile.

The reason we are making the trip is that DH's cousin is getting married. E is the flower girl (thank God that wedding is here as my backyard is now strewn with the petals of every flower that we ever had and some of the neighbors).

For the wedding, I get to be the stressed mama in the back with the screaming two-year-old which makes everyone ask, "Why bring a 2 year-old to a wedding?". There aren't enough snacks in a Frito-Lay factory to make her sit through a wedding. So pace I will.

I am not even going to consider, "maybe she'll be good". That's like saying, "Maybe I'll wake up 20 pounds thinner." It's just cruel thinking.

So here's the article on things to improve your mood. I am going to have a little chocolate, listen to some happy 80's music and sit out on my deck and catch some sun while N naps and E is in preschool. I also use this sunscreen that smells like pina coladas and all things beachy and try to pretend that the neighbor mowing the lawn is really the ocean.
http://shine.yahoo.com/channel/health/8-easy-instant-mood-boosters-275616/

Another Perspective- Free-Range Kids

2008-09-29T21:34:00.004-06:00

This woman has some very valid and interesting points. What has affluence done to our children? Are we too overprotective? Knee-pads for crawling babies?

Now if you all read my blog regularly, you know that I lean toward the laid back but the thought of letting my kids roam free in the suburban 'hood terrifies me, yet I remember being gone for hours when I was 5, running back and forth in fields and to friend's homes.

It is definitely making me consider ways to give my kids a little more freedom.
What do you think?

http://freerangekids.wordpress.com/

Inbetween Days

2008-09-29T12:57:00.003-06:00

If I were 16, I would be in my room right now. Mixed-up would be on repeat and I would listen to Robert Smith wail all the teenage angst that I felt inside. I would be doing something, likely scribbling in my journal about all the mean girls in high school, regrets I have about breaking up with my boyfriend, and who I was moving onto next. I would be thinking about Paris, dressing for my relentless sweater-folding job at The Limited and considering my weekend options. I would be brooding, confused and moody with specks of excitement popping in every now and then. Then, the CD would be over, and I would depart dressed and ready to face the world- problems temporarily left in my room to be considered later-like a catalogue-as I rushed to my car and proceeded to scavenge for change for my Taco Bell dinner. I loved that room- it gave me opportunities to think, consider, contemplate and contemplate some more.

I can think things to death, reincarnate them and think about them some more. This drives DH crazy.

Sometimes I wish I still had that room-not the living-with-the-parents-in their-home kind of thing- just the space. As a mom, I am always a mom. I am also always a wife, and always a candidate's wife (at least for the time being). I am a writer- who wonders if it is ever good enough, agonizes over what I can and can not post, and winces when something truly noteworthy is going on and I am left to write about banality.

Today is a day that I feel like stretching. I know, you all are thinking, oh, there she goes again..moody posts ahead. I hope that is not the case. I just wanted to say that if you feel like this, if you are a grown adult and still wonder about the titles and categories and struggle with a label. I struggle too.
And I am haunted with the doubts- am I pretty enough, thin enough, smart enough, kind enough, good enough? And then I am haunted by the fact that these things matter so much. And then I make the mistake of thinking (not saying) these things in the wrong place- family functions or publicly and I am forced to defend or explain away my mood/actions/behavior that has nothing to do with the company. And like a teenager, I just want to go hide in my room. To think, of course.

I always used to say that I'll figure it out when I am thirty. Well I am here and so much still feels like it needs figuring out.

My grandma always tells me that I need to get out of my own head. I know she is right. But it feels far easier said than done.

Exciting Friday Night

2008-09-26T21:56:00.003-06:00

I am sitting here watching old episodes of 90210- I know, so sad! We went for an early birthday dinner downtown (for my mom) and we pulled into the driveway at almost the exact same time we would be pulling out pre-kids. It's 10pm on a Friday night and I am home and a decade ago I swore this would never happen.

DH is headed over to neighbor Nancy's for some poker fun. And I am officially on sleeping baby watch. I was invited to pop over to NN's too but my current state of dress is deliciously comfortable but definitely not party appropriate.

Oh it keeps getting worse. The episode that I am watching features Donna and Brenda in Paris. So now I want a crepe and some Nutella and an incredibly loud wine-infused Parisian night. And I want to deep condition Donna's hair.

Do you know that the Parisian metro stops running at around 12:30pm and starts up again at 5am. I thought this was a horribly early curfew until I realized that you go OUT at 12:15 and you come home at 5am. And you, lucky American will be tres chic as your jet lag will allow you to party like a Parisian no problem.

I truly hope you all are having a far more exciting night. I am going to Google a little and see what I can find to post for fun.

I am definitely NOT going to Google DH. I just keep telling myself 38 more days. He has another debate next Thursday night and an article coming out in this or next Sunday's paper. I will have DH read it first.

MRI

2008-09-25T10:30:00.002-06:00

As the Ramones say, I wanna be sedated.

And I will be.

Today I have an MRI and being claustrophobic makes this process reeeeallly interesting for me.

The last time I did this, I took my meds as directed but they didn't work fast enough and there I was, with a tech, a nurse, my mother-in-law, and a doctor being paged somewhere to get authorization to take another pill from my bottle. When the doctor arrived and saw the hold-up, me sitting straight up on the table and 3 sets of desperate eyes looking to him for hope took a look at my bottle and said I could take 4 more.
15 minutes later I was in the tube and I remained still and all went very well.

Now here, we go again. Nothing scary with this MRI, they are just checking the tissue. But I have a better dose this time, so no tantrums (I hope).

In this situation I am truly not trying to be difficult. The terror of claustrophobia is very real. When I was very small, about 4 years-old my hair got caught on an old black inner tube screw while I was swimming underwater and someone much bigger was on the tube. With tiny fingers, I desperately tried to pry or rip my hair free and I couldn't. In this panic, I remember thinking that I was going to drown. I pushed and pushed to get the person off the inner tube and finally, they did. And up I came. And cried all the way to the shore where my mom and aunts were, dwarfed by this giant inner tube entangled in my hair. They freed me, and up to my cottage I went where my grandma fed me tiny chocolate bars and held me until the crying ceased, then gave me a little more chocolate for good measure.

Ironically, I still love to swim and will get in the water any chance I get. But the fear of being enclosed without enough air remains. And if you have ever had an MRI, you know how this feels. For those of you who don't, picture yourself in a tanning bed with the top completely closed and you can't open it. Then imagine hammers pounding on your tanning bed for 45 minutes while you lay perfectly still. It's a strange experience.

So off I go. Wish me luck. The banging begins at 12:45 mountain time.

Liver is tasty-if you're N

2008-09-24T19:44:00.003-06:00

N ate liver treats. You know the kind for the dog. I don't have any idea how they taste but they make me gag a little every time I open them. She had to pass up bags of sun chips and boxes of Cheerios to reach them so I can only ascertain that this act was in fact, deliberate.

She won't eat raisins but she'll eat dog treats. Hmmmm.

And I couldn't stop giggling through the ordeal because one was stuck to her tooth so she looked like a tiny pirate with gaping smile.

It has been a long two days for me, I had an event in my home last night for DH and ate about 3 dozen cookies and a bag of chips. For some reason I can't resist party food. I was elected this group's secretary which is bad for them as I can't pay attention in meetings and like to doodle and go to the food table or restroom at least 3 times while someone speaks.

My minutes would go something like this:

6pm-meeting begins
6:05pm-speaker is introduced- Mr. McIdon't remember
6:07 get hand out and proceed to jot short grocery list and make a note to get my hair highlighted
6:11 Time for a break! All this sitting has wiped me out. Visit snacks.

6:12-6:54-meandering, Eating chips, getting water, looking out the window, walking in and out of the room

7:00- meeting adjourned. Make notes to get notes from someone else.

I am supposed to be ordering E's School pictures but I can't remember the code to do it. It is also N's snack day tomorrow and I am considering bringing the liver treats to see if the other kids get into them too.

Just kidding.

But it might get the cupcake mafia off my back. They may not be so disdainful of my treats from now on if I added a little liver to the mix. Or worse, they may want to know where to buy them and I would have to come up with something about Whole Foods having a premium line of grass-fed-cow liver snack packs.

Oh, I am so done with today. See you tomorrow!

I know I shouldn't judge, but Goop?

2008-09-23T13:54:00.003-06:00

I really shouldn't point fingers at this one. After all the name of my blog is quite vanilla. But point I must.

Gwyneth Paltrow has started her own lifestyle website. I know, I know, the moment you have all been waiting for! I know I have been waiting for it, I accept that I have a rather irrational-let's call it distaste for her- but I look forward to reading her blog with the same anticipation as I feel when I change N's diaper. What poo does she have for me today?

Oh my gosh, that is so mean. But I have to leave it up. My friend Kimmy will tell you I really am a nice person (to my friends) but I just can't like G.P. I just can't. Ugh, I just looked at the site (again) and her one message and got all fired up again.

So if you want to know how to speak in a Faux-British accent, get yellow hair and name your child after produce, well here is your new favorite website.

http://www.goop.com/

Considering that G.P. named her site Goop, I am thinking that Apple should thank her lucky stars her mama didn't think of the name Goop a second sooner than she did.

For my Foodies

2008-09-22T10:28:00.002-06:00

If you love food, or love looking at pictures of food in magazines half as much as I do, you will love this website. If you can cook- even a bigger bonus!

http://thepioneerwoman.com/cooking/2008/09/simple-perfect-enchiladas/

I will admit, I am no culinary queen but every once and awhile something looks so good (and fairly easy) that I must bust out my one working pot and 9x13 and give it a shot.
I saw this picture of these enchiladas and I can't.stop.thinking.about.them.

And the writer of the blog Ree- is hilarious. She shows you (with pictures) how to chop an onion. This particular recipe is from her great uncle from Mexico and they look and sound so delicious I want to lick my computer screen.

I also love how she shows pictures of "how it really is" messy kitchen and all.

In my home I am "keeping it real" with the 4 baskets of unfolded clean laundry and Chex mix dust in my carpet. I am not advocating keeping a messy house (DH never finds these things funny) I am just taking a small break to enjoy myself a little. And I did scrub all 4 showers and tubs this morning....

Anyway, enjoy this site and if you make some of these enchiladas can you bring some by?

This is why I am stuffing 5,000 tiny packages with seeds

2008-09-19T14:07:00.002-06:00

It's Parade time again and this year I am so excited. We've got a gorgeous car, nice signs and something fun to pass out to the estimated 20,000 people in attendance. The theme is green so I thought flower seeds would be a nice touch. I am truly going for the look that this is not, in fact our first parade. Wish me luck, and if you are local, come on by!

The flower seed idea was also inspired by a desire to avoid this situation from last year.

Like taking candy from a baby

I would like to meet the person who said this, or even better meet the baby that gave the candy up. Saturday was celebrate our town day in our fair town and that meant a parade. When your husband is running for office, guess what? You get to march. The parade entries varied from groups of walkers to the shiny antique cars to the floats with so much detail that I wanted to write down names so I could have them build me one next year. There were alpacas (FYI, do NOT call them Lamas), there were horses, but no one, no one except our family had the courage to pull a 19-month-old in a wagon.

Yes, our family entry consisted of my husband’s gigantic sign, some supporters, lots of candy and one baby who refused to let me throw any of it to the cheering kids along the sidelines. Do you know what happens when you have candy, cheering kids who want candy, and you don’t throw said candy? The cheering stops. Their once joyful faces seemed stunned momentarily as they stare at you trying to wrestle candy from a 19-month-old to throw to them. What kind of person enters a parade, brings candy to throw, then doesn’t share?

Now, we were the last entry in the parade, which meant we waited at a complete standstill for about an hour for the parade to begin. Armed with nothing but my Du Wop Lip Venom (which really does burn when you apply) and large bags of candy, I chose the candy to keep N occupied. I thought that feeding her a breakfast that would make Britney proud would let her give it up when the parade actually started.Oh, I was wrong. So wrong.Every time I reached in the bag that was riding with N in the wagon she screamed, “NO!”
She slapped my hand.
She grabbed. She shoved more candy in her mouth in protest. So, for the few kids who actually got some of the candy. I am sorry that your mom made you throw it away because it was already opened. You can thank my baby for that.And if this turns up on youtube I think I might cry.

Krista's Still Mad

2008-09-17T17:32:00.004-06:00

And I am really trying not to be.

Dh told me to take a chill pill and a nice bath so that is what I am going to do.

I might have a glass of wine too.

So there.

Nice Krista will be back shortly, I promise.

Krista's got to watch it

2008-09-17T17:32:00.003-06:00

I've been outed. When I posted yesterday's blog, DH received a Google alert that something had been posted about him. I guess DH's strong message rocked some boats and the fighting has begun.

This suuuuuuucks. But I am not surprised. For the person who did it, I don't understand why you would (wait, yes I do). This is my outlet, public or private I truly enjoy writing about my experiences. This blog was intended as entertainment (and cheap therapy for me!). And now your action officially linked me to DH. And now all that I have written is under scrutiny.

If I were passing out cookies at a picnic, I would totally give you the smallest one with the least amount of chocolate chips. And now that is about the meanest thing I can say.

I am still going to blog and still talk about my life, seriously, how else will I cope? A little less DH I guess.

First Debate

2008-09-16T00:00:00.001-06:00

Tonight I experienced DH's first televised debate of the season. I must say that I was on the edge of my seat far more than he was. I keep motioning to him to smile, sit up straight and not to fidget, all with gestures so tiny no one around me noticed. Too bad DH didn't notice either.

In order to remember certain important points of discussion, I resorted to taking notes on a crumbled Starbucks receipt that I had stashed in my purse. My notebook did not make the cut tonight as I had to take the cute purse, which only holds the essentials, 6 glosses, some powder for DH's shiny head (you did NOT hear that one from me) and hand sanitizer. So scribbled I did and based on these scientific notations DH and I had a lengthy discussion at home about not rocking in his chair.

In all seriousness, he rocked the debate. I wish I was as comfortable as he was speaking in front of a group. Even though he did well, he needs to do better the next time and this campaign is far from over. It is a close race and we will be working around the clock to get as many votes as possible. This means that at any given moment, people are coming in my house to meet with DH in his office downstairs. This means that sometimes, say hypothetically I could be jumping on E's mini-trampoline in my jammies while eating a skinny ice cream treat completely engrossed in a 90210 rerun on SoapNet, only to turn around and see some of Nick's supporters (men) looking completely bewildered and uncomfortable in my hallway. I say men because the women just walk on by..or sometimes stop to grab a bar and watch a scene or two.

Yeah, maybe that happened. And maybe I walked out of the downstairs shower to find two campaign managers in my hallway.

Uhhmm, hi.

All I can do is keep a sense of humor about it all. I also have to say a special thanks to our friends who came to the debate tonight to support us. Katie, Travis, Jason and Melissa (you are a saint for spending the evening of your birthday at a debate) you rock. And Thanks to Neighbor Nancy and Mr. Dave for watching our wild girls tonight so I could go to the debate, dressed up and not spend the entire time doling out tic-tacs to keep the peace.

Oh I have missed you

2008-09-14T22:05:00.002-06:00

Although I am so glad that I left the picture of Laura up and needed some time to spend in seclusion, I really missed writing to all of you. I felt like a part of my day was missing, like I forgot to put the milk on my cereal.

Left to my own devices, I have managed to stay busy in spite of being a little wacked out on the pain meds from dental surgery. In fact that might explain my actions in the following paragraph.

I kept myself busy with writing some letters and decorating the girls rooms. My latest brilliant idea was to decorate their closets. I know, I know, their closets. But here's the thing. They each have a 5'x7' walk-in closet that used to house about 5 tiny dresses on equally tiny hangers and their faith chest stacked waaay up high. It seemed like such a waste of space. So, I took the collective 10 dresses and two chests from their closets and turned them into special little rooms. E's has a crib mattress in it with a princess sleeping bag (that is so satiny and fancy it could never make it camping), a night table and basket of books. I also attached fuschia organza curtains on the walls and bought some vinyl golden bejeweled chandeliers to apply to the walls. There are more sparkly pink organza curtains hanging from the clothes rod that encircle her little bed which creates a half malaria-mosquito-tent-half-princess-harem feel. I will take a picture soon I promise. I am almost done with it. I don't know if it has enough pink just yet.

For N, I put in her Pottery Barn overstuffed kid's chair, a chair in the shape of a bear, and some blankets and pillows for a little bed. She has vines wrapped around her former clothes rods and I attached some birds and monkeys to hang from them. She even has a faux bear- skinned rug that hangs down. I added some animal wall-hangings and a butterfly picture and she is almost all set too.

The rooms are very cozy, only room for the both of them and half of me and the bounty of treasures they squirrel away in there but so far they love having their own special space. It also really opened up their rooms and made them feel much bigger. It has made us all be much tidier too because there is no closet to throw things into and slam the door shut.

In all of my free time I have also been working on the first 5 chapters of my book that were due, oh, last week and I invented two drinks. I will share those later. Right now, I am so tired, and just so glad to be back.

Happy Fun Drinks

2008-09-12T13:18:00.002-06:00

So I have given up Diet Mt. Dew. Today is day 2. I was drinking 2 liters a day and I don't think it was doing me any favors. So I have created some new drinks to keep me occupied. In all fairness my coffee consumption increased three-fold but I figure that coffee is better than the Dew. And I am still allowing the occasional Diet Pepsi in the afternoon.

My current 3 Favorites are listed below

Starbucks non-fat vanilla latte with protein
I make it even skinnier at home by combining 2 cups of coffee, 1/4 cup warm non-fat milk and one scoop of vanilla whey protein powder, and either a Splenda vanilla packet or a teaspoon of real sugar (only adds minimal calories for the sugar). The protein powder makes it creamier with only 100 extra calories, 4 grams of fat and 20 grams of protein. This coffee kills hunger for a long time. A venti from the Bucks is 290 calories and my home version is about 125.

Sunshine Smoothie (Makes enough for 2 adults and 2 kids)
1.5 cups of non-fat milk
6oz of Fage 0% Greek Yogurt (regular non-fat works too)
1.5 cups of orange juice
3 scoops protein powder
2 bananas
8 ice cubes
1 T. of packed brown sugar
Throw in a blender and whir for a few seconds. I've been eating this for breakfast or a snack for the girls in the afternoon.

Super Soda Substitute
1/4 cup tart unsweetened 100% black cherry juice
2 T fresh lime juice
2 t. sugar
8 oz. of seltzer
Pour over ice and enjoy. You can also freeze into ice pops, or substitute oj for the cherry juice and omit the sugar. Enjoy!

Rest in Peace

2008-09-10T07:34:00.009-06:00

To live in hearts we leave behind Is not to die.

~Thomas Campbell, "Hallowed Ground"

Laura Amber

1983-2005

So the French only see the dentist twice a year

2008-09-09T16:32:00.003-06:00

Tomorrow I am going in for a root canal to fix my sorry tooth that I chipped on a fork while eating a piece of cake.

I know.

And all I seem to think about today is, "Tomorrow I am getting a root canal. There will be drilling. It will hurt. There will be tooth dust."

I am probably going to be thrown out of the sisterhood for this one, but I would rather have a baby than a root canal. At least you get a sweet precious baby out of all that pain.

See you tomorrow! (hopefully....)

Sleepy

2008-09-08T11:40:00.002-06:00

I had vacation-up-in-the-snowy-mountains-in-a-cabin (Ok, OK, Westin) kind of sleep last night. The dawn air was frosty, and I was cocooned, waaaaay down, under my radiantly warm blanket experiencing some Grade A Sleep.

I was not slumbering in a Westin, however, as I was soon reminded of it while I was being smacked, literally beaten out of my bliss by a raggy bear-headed blanket that smelled of tangy-milk, cookies, and baby shampoo.

Even though I have been a mother for almost 5 years, there many days when I am not quite sure what is happening to me and my fight-or-flight response kicks in. Somehow being hit and awoken with peels of "IT'S WAKE UP TIME!! WAKE UP MAMA!" don't stir up the warm fuzzies in me. I was equally agitated in college when the alarms would go off in the middle of the night but most of that fury centered around my required appearance in public without my consent or advance notice. I got really good at doing my hair and applying a little gloss while being herded down five-flights of stairs. If only I had lived on the 10th floor I probably could have pulled off a simple French twist and a nice coat of foundation and mascara.

So, back to the present. As my friend Steph says, "You get what you get and you don't throw a fit" and I got two seriously early risers for daughters. Admitting defeat, I dragged myself out of bed and could barely amble down my one flight of stairs to breakfast and counted the minutes until 8am. At precisely 7:59, I called my mother-in-law to see if she wanted to bake some oatmeal cookies with my girls. Not only did she make these amazing cookies for E to take on her treat day at preschool, but she took E to preschool and left me with a house (and two-year-old) that smells like cinnamon and sweetness and all things good in the world.

The second I hit post, N and I are off, for a nap this time. The morning is all forgotten as now I have a cuddly, sweet-smelling, toddler to read a story to and take a nap with.

If you went to school with E, you would be eating these for a snack today.
http://www.cooks.com/rec/view/0,1910,158181-240192,00.html

Yearbook Website

2008-09-05T12:01:00.001-06:00

Here's a fun one for Friday.

http://www.yearbookyourself.com/

The pictures are so hysterical!

Usually I am not good at uploading pictures into sites like this but they make it sooooo easy. You can see how you would look in every yearbook picture from 1950-2000. The left one is from 1966, the right from 1976.

I laughed so hard that I almost peed my pants at this one from 1982.

Have a glass of wine and play with this one. And send me one if you do!

Skin Care Recommendation

2008-09-04T13:11:00.003-06:00

I am typing this from my bed as I am a bit feverish from the whole tooth situation and generally not feeling so hot. So, I thought I would share my favorite, absolute, hands-down fabulous (and affordable!) skin care line.

Mychelle Dermaceuticals. I buy their products at Vitamin Cottage or Whole Foods and you can also order directly from them online. They sell a sampler package for $23 that includes enough goodies to try for two weeks and that is how I got hooked. For the quality of the product, I think their prices are more than fair and you only need to use a tiny amount. Plus you can buy individual sample sizes for under $5. I did this with their incredible pumpkin peel and there was enough product for 3 masks.

The woman who started this company is from Frisco, Colorado and creates the products there. Her skin looks amazing, and in this arid climate, that is very difficult to achieve. I feel like my skin has never forgiven me for moving from the shady, wet Midwest to the bright, dry west.

They are also animal cruelty-free and don't contain nasty things like horse urine and scary chemicals.

Since I have super-sensitive skin I miss out on trying a lot of fun products from conventional companies but so far I have not had issues with any of these. That nasty breakout that I had a few days ago is much improved once I did a scrub, a peel and a mask (spread out over a few days). And the mist keeps my face from drying out during the day.

These are the current products that I love:

Daily:
Apple Brightening Mist
White Cranberry Cleanser
Clear Skin Serum
Pumpkin Renew Cream

2 x week
Cranberry Mud Mask

1x a week
Fruit Enzyme scrub- I would use this every other day if I could but citrus products irritate my skin but this scrub is so awesome that I use a little once a week anyway
Incredible Pumpkin Peel

Things I want to try:
Guava Cactus Mask
Capillary Calming Serum
Anti-Wrinkle Serum

Here is the website if you would like to check it out. And if you ever come over to my house I will totally share some if you want to try any of it. Let me know if you have tried any and what you think.

http://www.mychelleusa.com/index.asp

Additional reviews available on http://www.makeupalley.com/

No, wait, Today's the Day....

2008-09-03T14:17:00.002-06:00

For my close-up and No, I am not ready. I need some miracle of God to occur in the next 45 minutes. So what am I doing? Panicking, obsessing and writing on my blog, of course.
I spent the morning at the dentist where he took as many x-rays as I have teeth and had someone else come take a look at the pictures. I don't know why, but I have this gift for being the patient that often requires a second opinion.

After taking yet another x-ray they decided that, yes, without a doubt it is an abscess....Yay me! So I get to take some antibiotics and come back in a week for some drilling fun.

I know, it can't be fun reading about my dental experiences but I must admit I am a little traumatized by this. Mr. Dentist gave me a pill to take just before I come in and made me promise that I would be dropped off and picked up by someone else.

I don't think this information bodes very well for what is going to happen to me in that chair...

Not ready for my Close-up

2008-09-02T08:22:00.009-06:00

Today DH the family and I are headed down to the Capitol to shoot a little campaign video. I received this news last night and in all fairness the late notice was not DH's fault.
My girls can go from disaster to darling in 15 minutes flat.
Mama on the other hand needs some serious time.

These are my appearance hurdles (mountains) that I must overcome by 2pm today:

My hair. This is my eternal struggle- my appearance Achilles heel if you will. Today it appears to be especially frizzy and Medusa-esque. I will force it into submission with the flat-iron cranked up to sear which is so hot it makes my hair smoke a little but it gets the job done.

My nails- week-old, chippy manicure that I did last minute so it didn't look great in the first place

My face-oh, I look like a teenager ready for a "before" picture on a Proactiv commercial ..thanks PMS!

My waist- I am retaining more water than a New Orleans levee.

And to top it off I am dealing with a dental situation that will not be resolved until tomorrow. To cope with this, I have some crazy strong Novocaine-type topical meds to deal with the pain. The downside to this is that I am not very precise with application and end up numbing not only the tooth but also my tongue and lips. Then I panic, Google Bell's Palsy and freak out until it wears off, drooling in the meantime. Oh, and I have to wear a mouth guard which goes very nicely with my teenage skin and gives me a speech impediment.

So, if you see a campaign ad with a smart-dressed man, two girls in dresses and a drooling, elastic waist-skirted, lisping lady sporting bad nails and wonky hair..hey that's me!

Labor Day

2008-09-01T16:55:00.002-06:00

I hope you all are having a relaxing Labor day. DH is putting the "labor" in the day by moving his office from our second floor to our finished basement. All day he has been trudging up and down two flights of stairs hauling equipment, furniture and computers. Eventually the girls' play room will be in his former office and he is taking over the space that used to house their playroom. In this interim, homes for all of our toys are neither here nor there which results in toys littered everywhere. The family room chair from where I am typing this is currently draped in pink chiffon and the entire My Little Pony collection has taken up temporary residence on the Ottoman.

As a person who likes things fairly organized all of this clutter makes me itchy. But I am keeping my eye on the prize. The new play room is about a quarter of the former play room's size and I am so relieved. It has forced us to purge and organize our toys and make more efficient use of our space. Plus, I felt like our entire basement was being used as a giant toy pile as it was far too large of a space for the girls to keep tidy.

So in a nutshell, things will be nice and organized....eventually. In the meantime I am dealing with the clutter and trying to determine if we should keep one-legged Barbie or not.

Motivated Moms Dot Com

2008-08-29T22:43:00.002-06:00

Ooh, I just found yet another new home management site I love! For $4 you can print off a yearly calendar with most household tasks listed so you can just check them off. I like the philosophy of it. You are never behind and if you miss a task on one day, you don't need to make it up the next day, it will come around again and you can do it next time it's on your list.

I know, household chores bite the big one and I am constantly searching for ways to make them more palatable. This system makes them a little more mindless and takes some of the stress of keeping up with everything/remembering to do everything off of your mind and on to a piece of paper.

I am trying it now and so far, so good. If you do try it, let me know what you think.
http://www.motivatedmoms.com/

Holiday Weekend

2008-08-29T11:01:00.002-06:00

TGIF and happy long weekend everyone! Labor Day weekend marks the unofficial beginning of my favorite season- Fall. The crisp weather, the golden leaves, the promise of pumpkin patches and an entire holiday dedicated to candy, are just some of the reasons I adore this season. Oh, and preschool begins again. In fact, E and I are going to embark on our annual trip to Target to pick out new-school panties. Nothing announces new school year to my preschooler like a fresh 8-pack of Disney Princess undies. But not the days-of-the-week ones, because mama can never get her act together and it seriously irks E to wear Tuesdays on a Saturday.

But I digress.

So, I am sure some of you have some fun plans. I can hear the campers and coolers being packed and slammed shut with a wooompft as I type this. This morning I saw two RVs aimed for the mountains shoot by while I walked my girls to Starbucks. As for my family, we are going nowhere. This tradition of not traveling on major holidays or long weekends began when DH was a sales rep for a beverage company. Nothing says alcohol consumption like a holiday weekend, so while everyone else was celebrating, the beer trucks (along with the ambulances) would go into overtime, one shuttling beer one way, one shuttling people full of beer another.

Even though that career is far behind us, we learned to stay home on these weekends. We savor the starlit backyard evenings, barbecue everything we can get our hands on- from bananas to pizzas to steaks, and admire our little mountain view from our deck. We rent movies and enjoy the peacefulness of the neighborhood. DH has a few political events this weekend, but other than that, we are laying low. The farthest I am venturing this weekend is to Neighbor Nancy's for a nice glass of wine on her fabulous patio.

I've done it again with the tomatoes

2008-08-28T12:54:00.002-06:00

Neighbor Nancy is married to Farmer Dave. We call him this due to the fact that he:

A: grew up on a farm

B: has a garden the size of a large swimming pool
and

C: grows actual corn in said garden

Not sure why the corn part is important but it fascinates me. He waters it all summer long, checks on it often, protects it from the elements, and then sometime in September the squirrels eat it.
Anyway, he also grows some tasty tomatoes and he is very generous with sharing them. I think there are few things better than a home-grown tomato that is still warm from the sun, so I indulge in them. A lot. And now I have a canker sore from all the acid. But does this stop me? Noooooo.
I need an intervention.

So how am I eating these tomatoes? One of my favorite ways is in a Caprese Salad. I actually just ate one about ten minutes ago for lunch. There are many versions and ways of making it, but I have yet to find a version that I didn't like. Today I will share my basic recipe.

Ingredients
High quality extra virgin olive oil
Balsamic Vinegar ( I love Newman's Own)
Fresh Mozzarella (the kind you buy in balls in water-this is important)-Sliced
A couple of medium tomatoes-sliced
Fresh Basil-chopped
Sea Salt

Now here is where I am going to be really unhelpful. Since I don't measure anything I will do my best to share the proper ratios. I like to have a 50/50 ratio of tomatoes to mozzarella. I add about two medium leaves of chopped Basil for every tomato. My ratio of vinegar to olive oil is about 30/70. Add salt to taste. Sometimes I toss in some pine nuts, a sliced avocado or some roasted garlic.
In the summer I eat this salad almost daily.
Enjoy!

New Stuff

2008-08-27T21:01:00.004-06:00

In honor of my almost year of blogging I am working on making my blog just a little better. I have added two link sections to the left. The first set, Where I've Been Lately are places/articles that I am currently checking out. The second set, If You Were Me You Would Be Here, lists some of my classics, my go-to websites, my constant favorites.

I hope you check some of them out and find some you love as much as I do!

Hostess Insecurity

2008-08-27T17:05:00.003-06:00

Do you get this before throwing an event or having people over? I get it every time and I hate, hate, hate that I do.

I scrub, I scour, I run around disheveled wielding garbage bags and paper towels. I spent as much time as I possibly can (plus 15 minutes) getting the house ready then jump in the shower and shriek last minute orders to DH while I get myself ready.

DH never gets like this. I am sure he would appreciate if I would stop this behavior, or at the very least, stop the shrieking.
I don't know what's wrong with me! Do guest really scrutinize every bathroom tile? I stress over the taste and presentation of the food like I am at a State Fair hoping for a Ribbon. And I am not even that good of a cook so most of the food I purchased already-made!
Does this sound crazy to you?

You would think that after 6 years of being married to someone who would have guests nightly if possible, I would get used to entertaining.
But I never seem to and I am left feeling like I am taking a very big test every night before the big shindig.

To add to this situation is I am the worlds BIGGEST FAKER sometimes. If you come to one of these parties, I will be dressed, all smiley and completely sheveled (is that a word?). All hints of the hysteria and insanity of the hours before will have dissipated with the floor cleaner.

I know there are bigger things in this world to worry about. But that only makes my anxiety about this worse. Then I feel bad about being worried which only makes me worry more.

Seriously. It's a party. Thank God I am not a brain surgeon.

The Promise of a New Page

2008-08-26T08:19:00.003-06:00

Something wonderful happened last night.

After two plates of chevre with figs and honey, I padded off to bed sleepy and satisfied. The memories of that morning felt far away as I slid into bed, and snuggled into the warm, velvety (and freshly laundered!) sheets.
As I was drifting off, random thoughts began to pass through my mind...the party, did I lock the door, the French word for coat, the usual melange.

Just as I was about to check in to dreamland, an idea hit me, as hard as if a book had literally fallen on my head. I was officially unblocked.

At the very inconvenient hour of ten past exhausted.

Why, why, why do the ideas come at this time, my sleepiest, most weariest?
With no journal at my side, I surrendered, knowing these thoughts would only taunt and tease until I wrote them down. I slid out of bed, trudged downstairs and walked toward the blue light of my laptop, who was open and irritatingly bright-screened. After rubbing my eyes to adjust to the blindingly-white screen, I slumped into my chair and began to type.
And type.
And type, type, type.
After an hour or so, I felt like I got enough down that I could walk away and finally go to sleep.

And this exercise epitomizes my relationship with writing. When all is quiet, the children are sleeping, and my laptop is perched like an eager puppy on my lap, I stare at the pulsing line. No words come. Then some do, only to get erased.

No, words and ideas only come when I am immersed in something else. Even with the lost sleep, I am relieved that the block is officially over-this episode felt particularly long.
Now if only I could find the time to expand on my ideas during daylight...

Something is wrong with this gift

2008-08-25T12:50:00.002-06:00

Belle has a little (big) problem.

Already dragging, sniffly, hair-snarled, coma-esque from the collective three hours of sleep I received from last night, I was in desperate shape, and I needed nothing more to push me over the edge.
Fast forward five minutes.
I am pouring my first (of 300) caffeinated beverages of the day (If Starbucks has their Energy packets in, then that number decreases by 100) when in sprites E. With her sunny face and matching sunny-lemon gift bag.

"Here, mama, this is for you. I helped!" She cheerfully offers the bag to me.

I smile and take the bag from her and before the smell could knock me over I saw it. Them. Three dog poos in the bottom of my gift bag.

Poo in a gift bag!
Now all of the sudden those horrible gifts from Christmas past don't seem so horrible when presented (literally) with shiny-wrapped poo.

Now here is where my communication degree comes in handy. I was not, no matter how horrified and repulsed, going to ruin my little girl's sweet disposition with poorly chosen words. She just picked up poo for me, and put it in a gift bag no less. With a smile.

So I took it, put on my grateful face and thanked her with all the grace I could muster after being presented with feces before 8am. Then I gave her a bottle of soap and told her to scrub her hands while conjugating French Verbs, past and present tense.

Just kidding. I told her to scrub until the bottle of soap was gone or her hands felt funny. Whatever came first.

Now I must share what I do to get over situations such as this. First, I shower for about 10,000 minutes. Then I launder anything and everything that was remotely near the incident. I douse the spot in at least 2 cleaners. I cry. I put Belle outside for a loooooooooong time.
I spray a lot of good smelling stuff, pour a nice glass of Mt. Dew and try, try to forget it.

If it was really bad, I look at pretty things for sale online.
Today was one of those days.

In Honor of the Olympics

2008-08-23T15:27:00.004-06:00

I found this on the blog http://cakewrecks.blogspot.com/ and found it hysterical. These are all professional cakes-it makes you wonder what consitutes "professional" in the cake industry. To give you a little taste there is an entire baby-bottom-shaped-cake subsection.

Enjoy!

Ice Cream Social

2008-08-23T11:38:00.004-06:00

I am supposed to be at an Ice Cream Social for DH in 20 minutes.

Presently I am half-dressed, Folex in hand, scrubbing what appears to be my new lipstick out of the carpet.

While I was blissfully unaware in the shower, N found it, opened it, mashed it in her hands and rubbed her hand prints all over herself and the carpet. I was so mad I couldn't even take a picture of this one.

Did I mention I am having a very large group of women here on Tuesday night for DH's campaign? I was planning on spending a couple hours spot cleaning the house in preparation.

Well I guess I am spot cleaning. One huge, stubborn, lipsticky spot.

The good news is that Folex is taking this stuff out- thank you baby Jesus!

There isn't enough Zicam in the world...

2008-08-22T14:36:00.003-06:00

To get me through this weekend.

Yes friends, it seems as if I have caught my first cold of the season. Or maybe the pre-season. N came down with it on Sunday, and E and I got it on Thursday. How can you not catch a cold from a sick, toffee-curled two-year-old who you rock and cuddle and stay-up with during the night only to be jarred awake by her sticky fingers ramming up your nose? Between the inhalation of billions of cold germs and the collective ten minutes of sleep I've gotten... my body put out a lovely welcome mat for this one.

What really sucks about this situation is I was supposed to:
Hear DH speak at an event tonight.
Scoop ice cream at a social for DH tomorrow.
Celebrate his birthday on Sunday!
I am presently eating garlic, drinking lemon water, popping Dayquil and sucking on Zinc in a desperate attempt to become somewhat, partially, possibly presentable enough to go tonight. And to hide what I can't fake, I bought some nice makeup and did my nails.
Oh, and had about 3 energy drinks.

So, I am typing this while poured into my favorite chair; jittery, exhausted, hyped-up on cold meds, lemon-garlic-breathed and wrapped in my favorite scarf. I have the AC on full blast so I don't get hot (I can't stand being sick AND hot) and the scarf is to keep me from getting cold.

Ugh, at least my nails look nice.

Maybe I need to narrow my focus?

2008-08-21T09:06:00.003-06:00

I wonder if it is disconcerting for you all to read my blog, never really knowing what to expect. I could be admitting to a story about my children, discussing shopping websites or panicking about my home appliances. Sometimes I include a link to an article that feels far too serious for this blog. But share I must.

I found this book excerpt and short article on NPR.

Why We Hate Us: American Discontent in the New Millennium. By Dick Meyer

http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=93261726#share

It only take 5 minutes to read but raises some interesting points. Are we as a country suffering from low self-esteem? Parents know what giving children too many choices leads too- anxiety, frustration, then anger. Are we doing that as adults now that we have a choice in absolutely everything?

The author also purports that weakening moral fibers and lack of faith in public leadership is also leading to a significant decline in our morale and self-esteem. As a person who has a spouse running for office, I have learned all too quickly that how something looks can be far more important than how something truly is and that is disconcerting. With all the collective negative noise that surrounds us, I wonder that message will ever get out.

On a last note, this would be a very good topic of discussion at your next mommy play group. When the discussion about drop-ins versus Dr. Browns dies down, you can open with, Hey, I read that the reason that so many of us are on antidepressants and struggling with issues of inadequacies as mothers is that our society is now set up to make us feel this way.

Of course I am not advocating blaming all of your unhappiness and unexplained rage at random things or people, but this book certainly provides a framework from which to discuss some of these issues. If you have a few minutes, check the link out.

Now, that I got to dabble in a little academia, I am off to Target to buy some baby wipes

Bye-Bye Blazer

2008-08-20T09:09:00.002-06:00

Dear Trailblazer,

It seems to me that the time has arrived for us to part. It's been a good 4 years, but now I feel like we are going in different directions. What originally brought us together is no longer keeping us together, know what I mean? I am tired of buying you expensive gas with DH's hard-earned cash, only to have you demand more and more every week. Do you know that your "habit" is getting so outrageous that I actually have to walk into the gas station to tell them that yes, I really do want to spend that much money on you? It was one thing when gas was under $3, but now your need for speed is cutting into my Amazon budget, and I feel that I must draw the line.

Let me say that I will never forget the first time I saw you, all white, shiny, and new with your leather seats just waiting to hold me. I envisioned us gliding through the snow, scaling mountains and stuffing your cargo area with large bags of groceries and furniture just because I could.
But the truth is, we never did those things. I won't drive in the snow and taking you to the mountains costs more than a cheap ticket to Vegas. King Soopers will deliver my groceries to my door, and Overstock.com only charges $2.95 to ship an entire couch.

I am sure that you noticed the black cherry Mazda 6 that has taken your place in the garage. I met her a few weeks ago and you know how much I can't resist a black car. She is zippy, fun to drive and she can fit 3 car seats in her back seat, something that you promised but you could never deliver. Plus, she merely sips her gas, about 20 books a month less.

I don't want to drag this on, so I will close by saying all those usual platitudes such as we had our good times, and I never meant to hurt you. Even though I am driving away from our relationship, you will not be forsaken. DH has been speaking with a very nice woman who desperately wants you in her life. She has seen you parked on the street and circled past many times. She knows all about your gassy ways and doesn't care. It seems like true love to me.

I wish you nothing but the best in your new relationship. If we ever meet again on the big highway I will always send a wave and a smile your way.

Love,
Krista

Like Paper Dolls for Grown Ups

2008-08-19T14:25:00.002-06:00

I love shopping online. Getting packages in the mail is so exciting that it makes the Excel bill a little easier to swallow. One of the major theories in psychology states that if you eradicate all pleasure, you create neurosis. So I figure that ensuring a little package or two every now and then makes getting the mail far more fun and therefore better for my mental health! *And* I am saving gas by not driving to the store myself *And* Mr. UPS comes on my street daily anyway for another neighbor so it really is practically environmentally necessary that I do this.

Now back to shopping online. Somethings are a no-brainer to order, books, jewelry, and make-up are some of my favorites. But sometimes, I find a piece of clothing whose fibers have never been dusted with our Rocky Mountain Air but I know would love it here. In some cases, I am sure it's a perfect match, if I could only figure out how the sizes run. I know, I know, the fact that I think about clothes this much is a problem and well a bit strange. But as GI Joe says, "Knowing is half the battle!" so I am okay with all this.

Ugh, I am so full of tangents today. Anyway, there is a site where you can create a virtual model, complete with your face if you would like, and she can try the clothes on for you! I might like to dress her up just for fun. And she definitely has better hair than me. And her patience is endless. Boots on, boots off, no wait, the red, no the black, no the brown...she just stands and smiles and I don't have to wrestle a two-year-old while barefoot in my bra packed into a dressing room that smells like new fabric and old carpet. It really is bliss.

So here is the link. Check it out and make one for you! Maybe our models can be BFFs and shop together.

http://www.myvirtualmodel.com/en/index.php

Dinner Party with No Dinner

2008-08-18T14:50:00.002-06:00

Deep breath.

So, DH and I are in a dinner club with two other couples. We rotate to each other's homes and the hosts provide the dinner and drinks and the other two couples bring either a dessert or an appetizer. We've enjoyed two culinary creations at the other couples' homes and now I am seriously afraid DH and I are going to be released from this club after our turn as hosts. To make matters worse, I already have admitted (likely also proved) that I can't bake which makes the desserts that we bring hit or miss unless we get them from somewhere. Appetizers and salads are my strong suit, and now after this...it seems my only suit.

A little back story.

A year ago I submitted an article and some recipes to a national magazine. Much to my delight it was published! A childhood favorite, I adore this recipe, but I have never made it on my own- it is my mother's and she has made it for decades and it always turns out delicious- FOR HER.

Fast forward a year, DH was approached to be a celebrity chef at the local senior center since he is running for office. We never pass up an opportunity for positive publicity so we said yes, then thought it would be great to tie-in my mother's recipe that was published. It was a win-win for everyone.

Last night it was our turn to host for our dinner club and to make the main entree. DH and I thought that this would be the perfect opportunity to practice making the recipe before we served it to 300 at the Senior Center. So we measured, we mixed, we painstaking followed the directions exactly. Three hours later, with our guests surrounding the table, we opened up the large foil packet that held the piece de resistance. Anticipating Oohs and Ahhs and with stomachs growling, we were ready to open it and dig in! So DH gingerly pulled open the packet and a puff of eye-tearing smoke emerged leading to a collective lean back by us all. Instead of the expected crispy-browned-juicy roast nestled on a bed of roasted baby vegetables, we were greeted with the site of a coal-black rock anchoring charred veggies that even dental records could not identify.

Our guests, ever-politely offered their condolences, sympathies, and it's-not-so-bads, and I wanted to melt right into that pan along with our dinner. To make matters worse, we had nothing in our fridge to offer as a substitute except for some hummus, 6 different salsas, milk and several 2 liters of Mountain Dew. Oh, and I had a banana and two tomatoes on the counter. Not exactly the makings of a feast.

Before I could say "Bon Appetit!" DH was peeling out of the driveway in order to purchase something to grill for dinner while I was left holding the sad, sad tinfoil packet.

So what could I do? I put out some more chips and salsa, opened another bottle of wine and chatted with our most gracious guests. The time flew while we socialized and before we knew it, DH was back. Less than 30 minutes later we were seated at the table enjoying savory grilled pork chops and loaded baked potatoes. Along with the guest-provided salad and dessert- dinner turned out to be a success.

Next month it is our turn to make the appetizer. I am seriously going to have to up my game to make up for this one.

Dinner party at my house with No Dinner

2008-08-18T12:07:00.004-06:00

Oh this one is a gem. I am dying to write about it but if I don't get the girls out to the park right this very second, our fish are not going to make it. N has been pounding incessantly on their tank for the past 15 minutes and now they don't look so good. I am pretty sure that they are shivering. Never seen a fish shiver? Yeah, me neither. I would take a picture and post but I am sure the flash would send them floating belly up in 2 seconds flat.

So we are off. I will write about my experience hosting dinner club later this afternoon when N is sleeping.

A Greener Cleaner Link for you

2008-08-15T07:38:00.003-06:00

Since the EPT showed two pink lines 5 years ago, I've been interested in less toxic cleaners to do the dirty work in my home. The final breakup with Windex occurred when I kept gagging uncontrollably while washing a window before I even knew I was pregnant with E. I thought possibly that I was having an extremely adverse reaction to cleaning- one can hope, right?-but no, it was just my body trying to protect my baby from whatever was coming out of that bottle.

So my search began. The good news is that there are aisles of effective natural cleaners out there, from Method to Clorox so you don't have to buy the noxious stuff. Occasionally, I use some of them, but my favorite natural cleaner, hands down, is distilled vinegar. I know, I know, not very glamorous and it has a funny smell but it seems to work some kind of miracle when cleaning just about anything. Plus it's SO cheap! I go through about a gallon a week and it costs less than a $1. You know what that means my friends...more money for the fun stuff!

So I wanted to share this link with those of you who don't know where to begin with vinegar. My favorite uses for it are to wash my floors, wash my windows and hardware and use in place of a fabric softener in my laundry. Last night I just poured a bunch in my dishwasher and my dishes are so sparkly now!

If you don't care for the smell, just open the windows for a little ventilation and it will dissipate quickly. Sometimes I add bergamot or essential orange oil to the vinegar in my spray bottles and it helps with the scent. Either way, once dry, there is no lingering vinegar smell, I promise!

Now go buy some vinegar and something fun with the money you saved!
http://www.versatilevinegar.org/usesandtips.html#1

Weddings and Funerals

2008-08-14T17:01:00.004-06:00

After too many hours scrutinizing tulle, satin and organza I think I have found a suitable replacement for little E. I just ordered it and it should arrive on my doorstep in three weeks.

I am still, still working on getting the cherry fabric before the wedding so I can have a sash made. I am on hold as I type this with the nice lady with the company connection.

Today our friends Kimberly and Chris were here, they came over last night for dinner and wine, spent the night and we all had a very tasty lunch before saying goodbye. Even though they were in town for Marilyn's funeral (Kimberly's grandmother) it was so good to see them. Even in the sad times, there is laughter and love and especially in the sad times, your friends need you.

I feel so blessed that I was able to be there for my friend. Faced with the prospect of missing the service for lack of childcare, or braving the experience with girls in tow...well I just could not miss it. Yes, taking two little girls to a funeral by myself (DH had the primaries and was crushed to miss it) was anxiety provoking but their behavior surprised me. They sat for the service in the cry room so they could read books and watch through the glass. They asked questions, sang along and said the prayers. When it was over, they ran to Kimberly and Chris to offer up several head-nuzzled-in-the-neck hugs that only little kids can offer. Children can provide a levity and comfort to the mourning, if you let them. And if you are really in doubt, read some of N's naughtiest blog entries and tell yourself, if Krista could take N to a funeral without catastrophic consequences, then I certainly can too.

On a last note, I am so grateful that Kimberly and Chris took time out of their very busy, stressful, and emotional stay to spend time with us. This is what life is about, right? Weddings, funerals, births, and the laughter and tears peppered in between.

Finding a Flower Girl Dress AKA my new part-time job

2008-08-13T13:44:00.002-06:00

E is a flower girl in a wedding on October 4th. The bride chose the most precious white tulle flower girl dress. I waited the requisite 9 weeks before the wedding to order it since E is growing faster than I can measure her and well, this dress is on some serious back order.

Thank you baby Jesus that the bride is as sweet as the cherry colored sash I am going to have to rush-express-take-a-second-mortgage-out to get (just kidding, H!). But the dress to go with it is fairly hopeless.

There are several that are similar that can all be ordered and will arrive in plenty of time. But I am waiting by the phone for this nice shop owner in California that I found from a bride who knows a bride who's mom is selling her bridal shop to call me back after she calls her contact at the flower girl dress company to see if there is any way to get the original dress, in the original color in 6 weeks.

Is there some bridal mafia that I am not aware of? I can see it, there is some warehouse somewhere stocked to the ceiling with this sweet size-5 dress, complete with cherry sash and some guy on a walkie-talkie guarding them saying,"No, tell her no white, only ivory, and only in size 6. She wants white? Tell her money talks. And that cherry fabric is gonna cost her."
"Alterations are extra."
"Shipping it so it arrives before Christmas is extra."

My head hurts.

A Funeral, a Fundraiser and the Primaries

2008-08-12T22:11:00.003-06:00

What a day! Sorry for the late post but at 10:12pm, this is the first time I have sat down at home since 8am.

This morning the girls and I headed down to Golden to attend Marilyn's funeral. The sun spilled Terracotta light into the service, casting a beloved glow over all who were mourning. This light, reflecting off the bowed heads, bouquets, and the casket remained the entire service and its beauty took my breath away. The love that was expressed at the reception afterwards was shared through hugs, stories, laughter, and a bountiful buffet stocked with some seriously decadent chocolate desserts.

After the service and the reception- to which E wore knee pads because (as she put it) she had a broken heart-we drove the hour home with N sleeping slumped, flush-faced in her car seat, and E chattering about God and orange cars.

We arrived home only to leave a few minutes later so I could vote in our primary. DH, N, E and I all arrived at the polling place, still dressed well from the funeral and I cast my official vote for my husband. I must admit, it was fun seeing his name on the ballot.

We arrived home a short while later, and I fed the girls some dinner, changed clothes, then we were off again to a fundraiser for DH. He spoke, we ate, the girls played with some of the kids there and it was an enjoyable moonlit evening on the patio. I discussed everything from preschool to plastic surgery, and beamed with pride when DH addressed the group. I would love to be able to speak with such confidence.

After 3 hours at this event, the girls and I were exhausted. We came home and E and N went to bed without protest. They were so tired that I decided to skip their bath and I will not be surprised if they wake up tomorrow stuck to their sheets from all the sucker-stick that is shellacked along their arms. They indulged in a sucker (or six) while mama was talking and shaking hands earlier at the party.

It was a full day. Highs, lows, tears, laughter, hugs and handshakes. I wish my description wasn't so trite. I am so tired that my eyes are trying to close as I type this so I am having a very tough time doing it justice.

I started my day spending time with one of my most cherished friends, and ended it chatting with new acquaintances.

I hope, hope, hope the girls sleep in until 7:30. That would be unimaginably, decadently
delicious to sleep in a little. The primaries are over, DH is on the ballot and many say, the race has just begun. I think I need to pace myself.

Maybe I should rename my blog, "The Things N Broke"

2008-08-11T11:05:00.004-06:00

So my parents were watching E and N on Thursday and we were discussing N's antics when my mom started with..." Well, we didn't want to tell you but..."

Oh, that line is never good. Never, ever, never good.

So I start to think:
A) My cat has cancer
B) One of my parents has cancer
or
C) N did something Really bad

As you can guess, it was C. My 17 year-old Himalayan is fine. And so are my parents

So are you ready for what she did?

She defrosted my mother's large deep freezer downstairs. My mom said that she went down there to get something and noticed that things were defrosting. As the hours passed, the freezer became warmer and warmer. And my mom freaked out and frantically tried to figure out what was wrong. It was plugged in. The fuse didn't blow.

No, when N does things it is never that simple.

Come to find out there is some random button for that particular outlet that is upstairs. N found it. N pushed it. N defrosted a good 30 days of food and I am sure at least a half a dozen boxes of Thin Mints.

Really sorry about that one mom and dad.

Now I am off to Home Depot to buy a toilet. N struck again and the guest bathroom just could not take it anymore.
And the washer isn't doing much better yet so I am off to buy some Oxyclean.

Laundry

2008-08-09T14:36:00.003-06:00

Uh-oh.
I just washed a disposable diaper. N must have stripped it off in bed and I tossed it in the washer with the sheets.

I have thousands of tiny clear gel-like balls in the washer.
That can't be good.
DH isn't here so I think I will just press rinse cycle and hope they go away. Maybe I already did that part.
Twice.
What do they put in those diapers to make those tiny balls so clingy?
Maybe some bleach will help.

DH usually doesn't read my blog over the weekend so let's just keep this little situation between us, shall we? If this post suddenly disappears and I am asking for washing machine recommendations, you'll know why.

The DMV and Me

2008-08-08T09:49:00.002-06:00

I have managed to lose my license. Again. My heart isn't completely broken as I hated the picture but I am sure that I am going to be put on some sort of "list" now. I don't know how this keeps happening (yes I do). Maybe it has to do with my frequent handbag changing, or possibly that my daughters like to trade my credit cards and I am pretty sure than any card with my picture on it gets double points.

So, the girls are at preschool, my friend is still at hospice and I am heading to the DMV.

Since it's Friday, here's a fun little link. If you have ever played BrainAge then you know this one already. It is short and fun...It's The Color Test.

http://www.humorsphere.com/fun/8787/colortest.swf

How well did you do?

The Woman I met in Hospice

2008-08-07T17:26:00.003-06:00

Today I spent a couple of hours in the hospice section of a nursing home. It wasn't at all what you would picture a nursing home looking like. The hallways were lined with treat carts stuffed with cookies and granola bars, smiling pictures dotted the walls and it was positively buzzing with chatter. The air was fresh, scented with a hint of new leather from the cozy furniture circled around a fireplace and a flat screened-t.v.

Simply put, it was a beautiful place to say goodbye.

I was there to support my friend Kimberly and her family as they were saying goodbye to her grandmother, Marilyn. When I walked into Marilyn's room I was greeted by a half-dozen family members of all generations. Some reading, some playing games, some staying close to Marilyn. Giggles and laughter drowned out any machine noise and the sun winked lemon light through the leaf-freckled window. Photo albums were stacked around a vase of sunflowers and a box of donuts. As the minutes passed, still more people arrived. There was so much life crowded into that tiny room that Marilyn's bed was wrapped twice around.

I only stayed for a while and left when Marilyn's last child arrived. Three hours later I am wondering if she is still there, and I am thinking about the last things she would hear. The laughter, the exclamations, and the sound of her granddaughters discussing a potential job opportunity, celebrities, and just how fabulous Marilyn looked in her pictures.

I wanted so badly to give something, pick-up lunch, make a phone call, but this family was so organized, so well-bonded that it was all covered. So I did what I could, whispered some prayers in the chapel and left behind my pashmina in case any of them became chilled while keeping their vibrant vigil.

Please tell me this is not making a comeback

2008-08-06T14:08:00.002-06:00

Tight-rolling jeans, bad perms and hyper-color t-shirts are all things I would rather leave in my middle school days.

But no, Katie Holmes has to go tight-rolling her button-fly boyfriend jeans and now I am suffering flashbacks. All I need is a whiff of Drakkar Noir and I will be rocking in a corner to "More than Words" in no time. It's just not a time that I would like to relive, you know?

Seriously. Am I just getting old? Why try and resurrect a trend that was hideous in the first place?

I don't get it.

My girls are napping so I think I will watch the end of TOBG movie. It is so not as good as the book but still watchable. Has there ever been a movie better than the book? I can't recollect one.

A lunch and The Other Boleyn

2008-08-05T18:06:00.003-06:00

So I visited my friend today, the one who is pg with baby K and so far so good! I was supposed to be helping her and I brought her a nice, fairly healthy lunch. I made these tasty little sandwiches for her daughter and my two girls, but all they wanted to do was lick the mayonnaise off the bread, devour the Fritos and chase it all with handfuls of NutterButters.

It was a gorgeous, breezy iced-lemonade day. My friend and I sat outside while the girls played and we had fallen into an engaging conversation while the girls played. Sensing that mama must be sitting down and enjoying herself, my darling N decided to stir things up a bit and poop on the upper deck. Which was directly over our heads. Nice ambiance, right?

Thank God my friend has a sense of humor.

In other news, I finished "The Other Boleyn Girl" last night and I am relieved that I can finally sleep again. Even though I knew how it would all turn out I was completely absorbed in this book. Almost addicted you could say. I could not put. it. down. For two nights and three days I stayed up late and read it while pouring E's Cheerios early in the am. And now I am sad that it is over.

Thank God for Amazon's "Customers who bought this item also bought" section or I wouldn't know where to turn for solace. It appears as if there are quite a few books by Phillipa Gregory about HenryVIIIth and his wives to keep me busy through the weekend.
Just kidding.

I need a break before I go on another book bender like that again.

Lucky for me, The Other Boleyn Girl (the movie) is On Demand tonight. DH took E out to some political events and I am home with a sleeping N so I think I will check it out.

Here is the Amazon link if you are interested:
http://www.amazon.com/Other-Boleyn-Girl-Movie-Tie/dp/1416560602/ref=pd_bbs_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1217982095&sr=8-1

I will let you know what I think!

The Parade

2008-08-04T10:22:00.002-06:00

This weekend we walked in a parade for DH. It was over 100 degrees at 10am so I use the term "walked"extremely loosely. DH walked. The sign people walked. I kind of slowly slipped along, dragging our wagon of girly cargo, slower, and slower and slower until the parade lady gently (not really) suggested that I needed to keep up. You all have seen a parade. They aren't exactly speedy but I swear to you, this one was. And I was sporting the Lauren flips-they do not do speedy...unless it is to snag a chaise lounge in Vegas. So by nature and outfit, I was already doomed.

As if melting into a pool on hot tar in a parade where I am supposed to look, bright-eyed and enthusiastic wasn't bad enough...I was constantly harassed by the parade lady.

My offenses included (but were not limited to):

Not walking fast enough
Throwing candy
Not passing out candy gently enough
Passing candy out too slowly
Passing candy to only one side
Dropping wrappers while passing candy
My girls not remaining completely seated in their wagon at all times

And every few minutes or so she would yell to not pull the wagon through the horse poo.

Doesn't this sound festive?

I felt sorry for the little children who would pick up the candy we gave them only to have parade lady snarl, "Pick it up-Don't leave wrappers on the floor-You aren't supposed to be throwing candy."

The phrase, "You aren't supposed to be throwing candy" came out with such venom you would think I was tossing the little ones Virginia Slims-complete with lighters.

Thank you baby Jesus that we ran out of candy before the end of the parade. That cut down on a lot of the "gentle reminders."

Fun Game-Eat This Not That Quiz

2008-08-02T20:49:00.003-06:00

Here's a fun one! Take a quiz and see what the better choice is. I did dismally. Absolutely awful. But it was fun and I learned some better choices at Panera, Dunkin' Donuts and BK.
But now I want pancakes.
And a smoothie.
And what does it say about me that this is what I am doing at 9 on a Saturday night?

http://www.menshealth.com/eatthis/game/

Picture Day

2008-08-01T15:38:00.003-06:00

Do you remember picture day at school? The tiny black combs they would give you to fix your hair while waiting in line? The backgrounds of white horizontal shades or if you were really lucky, the neon pink and green laser lights? Or did stuff like that only happen in Wisconsin?

Anyway, today we had our picture taken of our family for us and for some of DH's brochures and website. I spent a lot of time getting my hair and make-up done so that I didn't look like I was sitting on such a big stick like the last batch. Well it may have been all for naught.

DH bought a package from a local photographer a few months ago. The address was in Lakewood about 30 minutes away but we figured it would be fine. The girls and I spent a lot of time getting ready and picking out a few outfits to change into so that we would have a few looks to choose from. By the time we left, we had enough clothes for a weekend in the Hamptons hanging in the back of our truck.

So, off we went to Lakewood, freshly dressed and smiley. 30 minutes later we find ourselves in the parking lot of a strip mall which shares the photographer's address. I scanned the neon signs in desperation for a photo studio but it was hopeless. We were getting our picture taken in a back room of a grocery store. Right next to the Starbucks and across from the employee lockers there was a "studio" constructed of some sheets, photo lamps and a tripod. We walked in and I hung our clothes in the urinal -cake-scented bathroom and told the girls if they didn't touch anything I would give them a Skittle.

So they kept their hands to themselves and in we went. They fought, they cried, N scowled and grimaced at the photographer and it was about 95 degrees in the room. We took the pictures with N only in two of them and after a grand total of 7 minutes, we left. I spent 20 times that long getting us all ready to spend 7 minutes in a hot room with a sweaty guy and a camera. I am very curious to see what expressions we all have.

Sometimes it's hard to be Fancy-but a Website Helps

2008-07-31T08:44:00.000-06:00

As some of you know; I live in Colorado. Birkenstocks, Tevas and Crocs trample our walkways, scaring the crap out of my bejeweled flips with their thick soles and strapping buckles. The bounty of useful shoes in this town makes the hiking and outdoorsy set really excited. This makes me, who is not planning on kayaking, mountain-climbing or spelunking at any given moment, feel a little out of place in shoes that were made to go to lunch...in a taxi.

After 10 years of living here, I have become pretty immune to the lack of variety. Except for when I travel to Miami and their shoe sections make me feel like Dorothy, stepping out of the black and white into the color! I always come back with several pair of completely baublelicious, can't-wear-them-outside-can't-get-them-wet-can-only-sit-in-them shoes. When I saw the Sex and The City movie I got a little sick for all things pretty. The bags, the coats, the shoes-how spectacular where those Colorado-blue-sky shoes that Carrie wore?! Forget Big, I was in love with those shoes!

Since I live far closer to a mountain range than any Fashion District, I do a lot of shopping online. This site is one of my favorites to window shop. It has everything a fashionista (or recessionista!) desires from sunglasses to shifts. The layout is appealing and I like to put all kinds of things in my cart...subtotal, choose overnight shipping then cancel at the very last second lamenting, "If it had only been available in Navy....."

I also think it's fun to see what new things are coming out of New York and Paris. Then load up my little girls and drive to Target for a nice knockoff and a Starbucks.

Play some nice music, crank up the AC and check out the site.
http://www.net-a-porter.com/am/Home.ice

This is what I want to wear when DH wins his seat.
http://www.net-a-porter.com/product/35488

Right Now

2008-07-30T20:59:00.003-06:00

I am learning how to finger knit while watching my tween nieces dance to the likes of The Jonas Brothers. These girls have two moves:
One where they kind of connect like a gyrating caterpillar
*And*
One where they gyrate on their own around each other while their mom looks worried.

We had some nice conversations about Vanessa and Zac, Miley and Hannah, and Man thongs.

Then (out of the blue) they asked me if I ever attended a party where ladies ran around the house in bras while drinking margaritas.

I said no, but I said that I would ask my friend Katie, who throws all types of parties, if she has heard of that kind yet.

Bonjour Butterfly!

2008-07-29T19:22:00.005-06:00

OK, I will be the first to admit. My blog was getting a little..well...sad. Kind of like that plant in the corner that only gets watered just enough to keep it alive and somewhat green. Yes, there were some bright spots, but for a girl who considers writing a passion, my lackluster template and pictures of gigantic fried sandwiches were not doing me any favors.

So I am shaking it up a little bit. I will still spare no story that features me being humiliated by something that my children say or do. But I am also going to search a little harder for some entertaining reads, interesting links, something fabulous that I just could not pass up. All with the challenge of remaining relatively anonymous due to my husband's endeavors.

I know your time is precious and I love that people take the time to read and even comment on my blog. I hope you all enjoy the new format. Thank you Nadeen for the layout inspiration! I think this one much better reflects the fabulousity that I aspire to be. Even though I had to ditch the high heels due to back problems (boo!) I still never pass up an opportunity to match a handbag to some occasion-inappropriate shoes. Linen slides and a silk dress to an outdoor wedding that called for rain? I have one pair of khaki shorts and over 2 dozen summer skirts (with it's own polka-dot subsection). I would sooner die than be considered under dressed and a major pet peeve of mine is ill-fitting clothes. That's a long detailed way of saying pink blinky blog pattern just appealed.

Like all things, I go best with a grain of salt. Sometimes an ounce. But I love to tell stories, share gossip and will comment on just about anything. I have tried every single diet imaginable, from vegan to Atkins and have remained pretty much the same weight for the past 2 years. Isn't that amazing? That's the most positive way I can cope with that one.

For those of you who don't know me, I am a stay-at-home mom who refuses to go to the store in sweats and once opted out of a play group because the list of appropriate snacks did not include marshmallows, breakfast cereal or skittles. I am avoiding a particular library because my fines are too high and they don't take payments over the phone and I can not face the shame. My girls and I listen to a blend of Coldplay and R&B in our car and every time my husband mentions trading in my beloved vehicle for something more "gas efficient" I want to throw up a little. My motherhood experience is hitting the 5 year-mark and I am feeling like possibly, potentially I am figuring out a way to be be myself and not pass on too many quirks and neurosis to my girls.

Beyond the superficial, which you will experience a lot on this blog, I love my friends and family more than anything. I would do just about anything for them, including camping, though no one actually wants to do that with me. When friends have babies I offer to cook for them then pray like crazy that they decline because most of our dinners consist of hummus, veggies, cheese and something my husband grilled from 10pm the night before. But I love buying gifts!

For those of you who are new, you will see a lot of inconsistencies in me and all I can say to that is my mom had me in mid-June, making me a Gemini and everything about Gemini pretty much fits. The fact that I am Christian and believe in astrology should solidify that point. I know I don't make any sense but I promise that in my world it all has purpose. I have an explanation for everything.

If you have made it this far, thank you. Thank you to those who have read in thick and thin and welcome to anyone who is new and found me from a friend of a friend. I have a very special place in my heart for moms and people who are reading this from home. I used to work in an office and I must admit that I was a horrible employee but the best person to grab lunch with and I always knew who was dating who. Now that I am home, I miss the hum of an office but not enough to go back. These days I spend a lot of time reading US Weekly while someone is going potty and I wouldn't trade it for anything.

To end this superlong post, I would like to share a true story. I used to spend what my husband would consider an obscene amount on hair cuts and colors. I had no problem doing this because my hair did look and feel like a Pantene commercial (if only in my mind) and I loved my stylist. When I moved an hour away I still went to him. Until he got dumped. And sad. And the sadder he became the sadder my hair started looking. When my golden highlights turned ash I had to break up with him and I felt horrible. I walked around for a year with bad hair. For my ashy posts of the past, I am sorry. Really sorry. Thanks for sticking around. And double thanks for helping me stay anonymous. As some of you know, I really need this outlet.

Love,
Krista

Where am I going to eat a Monte Cristo Now?

2008-07-29T15:24:00.004-06:00

Leprechauns are weeping over their Turkey O'Tooles across Colorado today.

Bennigan's is closing.

Although I rarely frequent that restaurant, there is one menu item they have that I could not get anywhere else. The Monte Cristo Sandwich. Yes, other places serve them, but they all paled in comparison to Bennigan's cheesy-deep-fried-stuffed-with-ham-powdered-sugar-dusted-raspberry-jam-on-the-side behemoth of a sandwich.

Staring at the picture I must admit that at 3:30pm on a Tuesday afternoon it doesn't look so good. However, after a very late night, there are few things that have ever tasted better. Depending on the occasion I ate mine with a Diet Coke or a beer. A few times I swore my heart stopped while I was chewing...

Good thoughts and prayers work

2008-07-28T19:52:00.003-06:00

*First let me say please excuse my numerous typos lately. Sometimes I write in the middle of the night and don't always catch my mistakes. I wholeheartedly agree that I need an editor.

Thanks to anyone who prayed or thought of baby K. last night. Labor was ceased and it looks good. My friend is still on bed rest and will be for the duration but at least she made it another day! She is so positive and looks great. If I get permission I will post a picture of baby K. Hopefully that will be 2 months from now.

So with this event I've been making a lot of phone calls an activity of mine that N absolutely abhors. She relishes in doing something life-threatening while I am trying to chat. Even a call as short as an appointment confirmation usually gets interrupted by her antics. This morning she stuck a small toy spoon up her nose while I was talking to the vet.

Good Lord, she must hear me typing. As soon as I typed that last period I had to dash upstairs and put her in a time out for throwing her piggy bank over the upstairs banister only to watch it crash on the tile. I think my poor dogs need a Xanax. Did I mention that I blog at night because she is sleeping??

Anyway, we were driving to preschool today and I was singing along to the music when all the sudden I heard N talking to herself with one finger held up as if she was saying, "Hold on a minute" and the other pushing on her ear. I guess she has progressed from playing phone with a fist and has moved to the finger-tip "Bluetooth" just like her Daddy.

Oh Baby Please Hold On

2008-07-28T00:13:00.003-06:00

I received a call late last night that my very good friend went into preterm labor. The baby is trying to come 10 weeks early. This is her 3rd child, the first was born at 25 weeks. She is a private person so I don't want to over share but I am writing about it because I can't sleep. I keep thinking of my friend, lying in a hospital bed, hooked up to all kinds of drugs (when I asked her what she was taking she quickly replied, "The blue ones and The yellow ones."

For those of us who have carried babies, married baby carriers, or loved a baby carrier, you understand the grave importance of every moment that the baby can be kept in womb service. In friend's case, the big goal is 7 more weeks. 7 more weeks of wishing, hoping, praying, crying, bargaining. 7 more weeks of wondering, second guessing, and squinting at a small screen trying to decipher in heart and mind that the baby will be OK if she came today.

My goal is to help my friend out in any way possible. She is one of the sweetest, funniest ladies I have ever met. She reminds me of Heather Locklear in her Melrose Place days switching out the fried out blond hair and replacing it with chestnut smooth locks.

So my blog may turn into some kind of baby watch for a while, but truly who doesn't root for a baby?? So when you read this in the morning and something is bothering you, you can remember that baby K. made it one more day! Only 48 to go.

In the meantime, there must be something interesting to bring a mom on strict bed rest. I am planning on books and magazines (Any Recs for long and engaging, or lighthearted?). Can you think of anything else? Especially anything addictive to play that might make the time fly a little faster?

Goodnight baby K. I hope you are still on the inside when I visit you tomorrow. I know you are doing everything you can. Just hold on, you are supposed to be born in the Fall and trust me, it is way too freakin' hot to come out now.